Less Talk…A Time for Change

By Carol Kasik

We have to face the reality that talking about our intimacy is not the most comfortable topic of conversation, especially if it’s not going well. The positive side is that by talking about it and seeking help, you’re off to a good start to make it better.

Do you ever think back to the days when you and your partner first became intimate and wonder why it all changed?

Very often in relationships, the existing “flame” of intimacy can become predictable to the point of being boring. The lack or loss of interest is the most frequently reported female sexual problem. This usually occurs over the course of long relationships but can also be seen in the early years.

The quality of the interpersonal relationship plays an important role. Poor communication or an uncaring partner as well as a poor marital relationship will affect and decrease the desire of engaging in intimacy.

Dr. Carol Anderson Darling (1) in “Female Sexual Response and the Timing of Partner Orgasm” reports: “Due to changes in sexual attitudes in recent years, considerable attention has been focused on the changing perspectives of female sexuality as it relates to the desire of experiencing sexual satisfaction. For women, greater sexual satisfaction is related to involvement in a close personal relationship, their partner’s participation in arousal activities, their partner’s emphasis on the woman experiencing an orgasm, and the consistency of orgasmic response.”

Libido is the desire or interest to engage in a physical sexual experience. The desire (libido) can normally decrease as a woman matures. Normally, physicians will try and solve the problem with estrogen, testosterone, or both, however, it is subjective and difficult to diagnosed since it is personal and individually based.

(1) Joy Sex and Martial Therapy, vol. 17, No1, 1991

Carol Kasik, RN, is the President of H.E.R. (Health Education Resource). H.E.R. is reaching out to women, to assist them in gaining the knowledge, support, and the options to bring back their intimacy and achieve a better quality of life. (519) 495-7887 E-mail: healthresource@home.com http://www.totallyher.com

Published in Networking Today, July 2001.