The Truth About Lying

By John Boe

Some people can't tell a lie, others can't tell the truth and unfortunately, most people can't tell the difference. Can you tell when someone is pulling the wool over your eyes? Whether you're an attorney selecting a jury, a manager interviewing a new agent, or a salesperson making a presentation, your ability to quickly and accurately discern the truth greatly enhances your effectiveness. Fortunately, having the ability to sort fact from fiction is an important communication skill that can be learned.

Aside from con men, compulsive liars, and some politicians, most people become uncomfortable when telling a lie and transmit their deceitful behavior through their body language. While they may sound convincing, their gestures speak louder than their words. Consequently, they reveal their deceit nonverbally. While it's not always easy to spot deceptive behavior, there are many subtle yet discernable clues to the trained eye.

Body language is a mixture of movement, posture, and tone of voice. Studies show that nonverbal communication has a much greater impact and reliability than the spoken word. Therefore, if a person's words are incongruent with his or her body language gestures, you would be wise to rely on the body language as a more accurate reflection of their true feelings. During the selling process it's important to remember that body language is not a one-way street. While you're evaluating your prospect's body language for signs of honesty and credibility, he or she is subconsciously observing and reacting to your gestures as well.

Some People Can't Handle the Truth

The truth sometimes hurts and few business or personal relationships could survive the harsh reality of total honesty. While honesty is certainly the best policy, the truth is, that in our day-to-day encounters, it's not always diplomatic or socially acceptable to be completely honest. To spare the feelings of others, we have learned the usefulness of telling half-truths, fibs, and white lies.

During the selling process, some people have difficulty saying “no” and will actually tell you that they are interested in order to avoid potential conflict. As the pressure of making a decision builds, prospects will frequently use half-truths or lies to either stall or disengage from the selling sequence. While their words say “yes,” their body language indicates “no.” By being able to recognize the inconsistency between your prospect's words and his or her gestures, it is often possible to flush out their concerns, overcome their objections, and make the sale.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

Eye, nose, and mouth movement, along with hand gestures, are the four major nonverbal cues typically associated with lying. The statue of the Three Wise Monkeys accurately depicts the primary hand-to-face gestures associated with deceit. When a person is doubtful or lying, they'll often use their fingers to block their mouth as if they were filtering their words. This hand- to-mouth gesture is commonly referred to as “speak no evil.” The second hand gesture associated with deceit is called “see no evil,” and it occurs when a person rubs or touches his or her eye(s). The third hand gesture “hear no evil” is displayed when a person covers or drills a finger into his or her ear(s).

If people use one of these gestures while they're talking, it indicates that they are being deceitful. On the other hand, if they are displaying one of these gestures while someone else is talking it indicates that they doubt the truthfulness of what is being said. These three gestures should be considered red flags. When you encounter one of these gestures during your presentation, it is a good idea to gently probe the subject matter with open-ended questions to encourage your prospect to voice his or her concern.

In addition to the three hand-to-face gestures, eye movement is another reliable indication of deceit. It's normal for a person to look up to his or her left when thinking about the past and up to the right when thinking about the future. If you ask a person a question from his or her past and they look up to their right, they're making up a response. Law enforcement personnel and customs agents are trained to routinely monitor eye movement during interviews.

Micro Gestures

According to Paul Ekman, professor of psychology at the University of California, San Francisco, two of the most common micro gestures that are associated with deceit are the nose wrinkle and the mouth curl. The nose wrinkle is the same gesture that occurs naturally when you smell something offensive. The other facial micro gesture is a slight downward curl of the corners of the mouth. Even liars who make a conscious effort to suppress all of their major body gestures will still transmit micro gestures. People sometimes lie, but their body language always tells the truth!

John Boe presents a variety of training and motivational programs for meetings and conventions. John brings over twenty years of experience as an award-winning sales trainer to the platform. His programs are unique, consistently well received, and get results. Visit www.johnboe.com for more information. Published in Networking Today, September 2005.

The Ten Competencies of Highly Productive People

By Barbara Bartlein

The recent Microsoft study that reports that most employees are productive only three days per week has left many employers and workers wondering what they can do to improve productivity. How is it possible to boost efficiency without increasing hours? How can one get home from the office earlier when there is so much work to do?

To answer these questions, I contacted Laura Stack, MBA, CSP, “The Productivity Pro,” and author of Leave the Office Earlier. A productivity expert and national speaker, Stack emphasizes the development of competencies that support personal efficiency. These include:

1. Preparation—Preparation and goal setting provide direction for your life and focus your activities. Every minute planning saves you twenty minutes in getting the job done. Take your long term goals and translate them into daily actionable tasks you can do today. Be proactive rather than reactive during the day by taking a few moments each morning to identify your priorities.
   
   
2. Reduction—Reduce the time wasters in your daily activities by being assertive rather than passive in allowing others to dictate your schedule. If you excel in this competency, you reduce the “speed bumps” that waste your time and sap your energy. Speed bumps can include too many meetings, frustrating red tape, and unclear priorities. Learn to say no so that you create space to accomplish the important.
   
   
3. Order—Create systems instead of piles. You should be able to find what you want, when you want it, in thirty seconds or less. Order is your ability to sort, filter, and process incoming information effectively. Remember a cluttered work area means a cluttered mind.
   
   
4. Discipline—If you excel in this competency, you complete what you must do, rather than what you want to do. While everyone has an “off day,” highly productive people do what needs to be done and exercise restraint over their impulses, emotions, and desires. They know that sometimes the best tool for accomplishing results is “butt glue.”
   
   
5. Unease—According to a nationwide office productivity study conducted by Xerox and Harris Interactive in 2003, most people work over 60 hours a week total, and over 33 percent work on weekends. The “faster, cheaper, do more with nothing” approach has created a workplace where workers are always in high gear. This work style reduces productivity and creates an urgency addiction that increases stress. Spend time each day reducing your stress through exercise, meditation, reading, and listening to music. The focus should be on value, rather than velocity.
   
   
6. Concentration—This refers to your ability to stay on target and focus on the task at hand. Productive people achieve a state of “flow” or “working in the groove,” that maximizes attentiveness and efficiency. They resist unproductive multi-tasking and complete one activity before starting another. They are purposeful, rather than distracted.
   
   
7. Time Mastery—Effective time management brings purpose in life, structure to your day, direction, and a sense of accomplishment. According to Stack, “You must run your life, rather than allowing your life to run you.”
   
   
8. Information Management—While technology can improve your productivity, it must be used wisely. Choose the best method and medium of communication for the particular message you want to convey. Be decisive rather than tentative in filtering all the data that comes to you to assure it is really information, not cyberjunk.
   
   
9. Vitality—Many people take better care of their cars than they do their own health. Yet cars can be replaced…you can’t. You can dramatically impact your productivity by paying closer attention to your daily habits. Do you sleep enough? Exercise each day? Eat a diet rich with vegetables and fruits? Make sure that you are maximizing your energy and talent with careful self-care.
   
   
10. Equilibrium—Successful people know that high performance depends on both personal satisfaction and professional achievement. Know your early symptoms of overload so that you can rebalance when the scale gets tipped. Make sure that you keep the proper mix of activities in your life.
    

And remember, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “People with great gifts are easy to find, but symmetrical and balanced ones never.”

For more information on Laura Stack, “The Productivity Pro,” and to take your free Productivity Quotient Assessment please visit her Web site at: www.TheProductivityPro.com

Sign up for Barbara's FREE email newsletter at www.barbbartlein.com.

Barbara Bartlein is the PeoplePro™. She helps businesses sell more goods and services by developing people. She can be reached at 888-747-9953, by email at: barb@barbbartlein.com or visit her Web site at www.ThePeoplePro.com. Published in Networking Today, September 2005.

Achieving Life Balance: Simplify

By Karen Susman

f you have trouble being sixteen places at once and being all things to all people, here are a few life balance tips for you.

1. Practice saying, "No." You don't have to give excuses. Just "No." Maybe, "No thank you" makes you more comfortable. You can also say, "Thank you for thinking of me. Ask me again next year."
   
   
2. Reprioritize often. What is the best use of your time right now?
   
   
3. Be present. When you are with your family, be totally with your family. No cell phones. No brief case. No Internet. When you are at work, be focused on work. Recent studies show the average person wastes two hours or more a day at work gabbing, using the Internet, and making personal calls.
   
   
4. Slow yourself down by focusing on the mundane. As artist Georgia O'Keefe said, "If you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it's your world for the moment."
   
   
5. Do two-minute jobs. If something can be taken care of in two minutes, do it and get it out of the way. Otherwise, two-minute jobs can grow into two-hour jobs. You'll also feel a sense of accomplishment.
   
   
6. Multitask in a good way. Walk the dog and the kids to the park to meet your friend, Bob. You'll be exercising, enjoying your children, maintaining friendships, networking, and attending to Fido.
   
   
7. Enjoy simple pleasures. If you don't have the time or money to go to Disney World for a week, go to a concert in the park, explore your own city, take a drive, bake cookies, take a walk or bike ride, go to the zoo, chill on the grass while you stare at the clouds. Make popsicles in ice cube trays. Teaching your children, friends, and others to enjoy simple pleasures is a real gift. In our whiz-bang, technology driven, stimulation super-sized world, develop the art of hanging out and doing nothing.
   

Remember, life balance is a process. It is not an event. Be aware when you are out of balance and make another choice. You may go through this process 53 times a day, but you will be aware and making your own choices.

Karen Susman is a Speaker, Trainer, Coach, and Author of 102 Top Dog Networking Secrets. Karen works with organizations that want to maximize performance. Programs include Humour at Work; Balance In Life; Networking Skills; Presentation Skills; and Building Community Involvement. Order new guidebooks on humour, networking, time management, and community involvement by calling 1-888-678-8818 or e-mail Karen@KarenSusman.com. www.KarenSusman.com. Published in Networking Today, September 2005.

The Teamwork Alphabet

By Susan A. Friedmann, CSP

What differentiates a great trade show exhibit from a so-so one? The booth staff! The best displays are manned by a coordinated team working together to ensure the exhibit’s success, rather than a haphazard handful of employees who happened to be available that week. How do you transform your staff members into a strong team? Just remember your ABC’s.

A: Assign creative, intelligent, and enthusiastic people to trade show duty.

B: Begin early to be adequately prepared for the show.

C: Create goals and objectives for the show.

D: Determine benchmarks for the show, both for individuals and for the entire team.

E: Establish a time-frame for each of the benchmarks.

F: Find ways to make the trade show fun and exciting for all staff members.

G: Get upper management involved to make the show a success!

H: Highlight each team member’s strengths with appropriate job assignments.

I: Identify how team members can support each other to reach team goals.

J: Justify all trade show activities: Are they helping your team achieve their goals?

K: Knock off any practices or behaviors that keep your team from succeeding.

L: Last minute contingencies require advance planning and coordination.

M: Maintain a chain of command. Every staff member needs to know who is in charge.

N: New ideas are valuable: Encourage, capture, and implement the best.

O: Open your mind to creative, innovative displays and approaches.

P: Plan how to convey essential information and skills to your staff members.

Q: Question your staff. What do they know? What do they need to learn?

R: Recognize the need for training. Ensure your staff is adequately prepared.

S: Success is quantifiable. Decide how you will measure yours.

T: Time tables and schedules help keep the team on track.

U: Understand what kind of teamwork will be necessary to put on a top-notch show.

V: Vying for prizes motivates many staffers. Offer great rewards as incentives.

W: Watch out for trouble: Identify where the project can go wrong and plan accordingly. X: Examine the decision making process: Is it clear and efficient?

Y: Yes men don’t help: Encourage independent, autonomous capable staffers.

Z: ZZZZZ: Trade shows are very long. Adequate rest before the show is imperative!

Susan A. Friedmann,CSP, The Tradeshow Coach, Lake Placid, NY, author: “Meeting & Event Planning for Dummies,” working with companies to improve their meeting and event success through coaching, consulting, and training. For a free copy of ExhibitSmart Tips of the Week, email: susan@thetradeshowcoach.com. Web site: www.thetradeshowcoach.com

Published in Networking Today, September 2005.

Breast Exams Without the Squeeze!

By Dr. Priya Joshi

Digital Infrared Breast Thermography is a sensitive, non-invasive method of effective screening for detecting early functional changes in breast tissue. Thermography measures heat radiating from the breast, chest, and armpit areas. Usually, abnormal cells like cancer cells, release more heat to feed their rapid growth.

What can Breast Thermography provide that Mammography cannot?

Mammograms detect structural changes. A lump or mass is already present in breast tissue by the time a problem is detected. The lump is further investigated by ultrasound and/or biopsy to diagnose the nature of the lump.

Breast Thermography detects functional changes in the breast tissue without radiation, compression, contact, or needles.

Thermography can be used for women of all ages, and all breast types – young, fibrocystic breasts, during pregnancy or while breastfeeding, if the woman has breast implants, and if she is on hormone replacement therapy or the birth control pill.

Thermography has the potential to detect problems five to eight years before an abnormality can be seen with mammography. The early detection of abnormal tissue activity makes breast thermography extremely useful and cost-effective as a screening tool. The non-invasive nature of thermography, as well as the absence of harmful rays being emitted, allows for repeated scans.

Dr. Priya Joshi is a Naturopathic Doctor practicing at the London West Health Centre. Priya has a well-rounded practice with a focus on children's and women's health, breast and hormonal health, infertility, and pre- and post-natal care. Dr. Joshi can be contacted at (519) 471-1917 or email doctorpriya@rogers.com.

Published in Networking Today, September 2005.

9 Ways to Gain the Competitive Edge

By Nancy Friedman

Tight economy! Reduced staff! Demanding customers!

These days it’s extra challenging to satisfy and keep customers. It’s even more important than ever because customer loyalty is generally considered the primary engine today to retain sales levels and gain an advantage over the competition. It’s been this way for a long time; it’s just getting more attention now.

There are hundreds of ways to do better. Here are nine we like.

1. Know your product and services…inside and out.
   Not being knowledgeable frustrates customers. An uneducated employee is semi useless to a customer. Job knowledge is key in any position. If for any reason your company doesn’t offer job knowledge training, make it your own priority to find out as much as you can. Job knowledge is a key ingredient to serving customers.
   
   
2. Believe in your product and services 150%.
   We know of a salesperson who has never had any formal sales training. However, based on the belief in the product, services, and contagious enthusiasm this person is a top seller. People LOVE to buy from people who get excited about their product. Customer service reps are sales people!
   
   
3. Walk the walk, talk the talk.
   Practice what you preach. A Ford dealer would not drive a GM car. Employees need to support their company’s product or services before they can expect their customers to have confidence in them.
   
   
4. Keep your word.
   Companies spend thousands, sometimes millions of dollars advertising their services and products. They tell the customer they are THE BEST, THE ONLY, they are NUMBER ONE. "WE GUARANTEE OUR WORK" isn’t enough. Customers need to know that you’ll do what you and your advertising says you will. If you claim to provide the “best of anything,” make sure you keep your word. And be sure all employees keep their word. Telling a customer something will be to them in seven working days, and then having it NOT show up is a creditability buster.
   
   
5. Return all calls and emails.
   It boggles my mind when a call or an email is not returned. There’s not an excuse in the world I could buy when that happens. Sure, some of us get way too many calls and aren’t able to return them in a timely manner. Well, then have the call returned on your behalf. Not returning an email? How much work does that take? DUH?
   
   
6. Don’t ever forget "who brought you to the dance."
   In other words, there are always customers who were with you from the start. They helped make your business a success. They believed in you. A nice simple note once in a while is an ego booster to them and you'll feel good about it, too.
   
   
7. Make NO ULTERIOR MOTIVE CALLS or NOTES.
   Every once in a while, drop a note or make a phone call to customers (and prospective customers) without trying to “sell” them something. Telephone Doctor labels those "no ulterior motive" calls. They're "just because" calls…and very welcomed. When was the last time you heard from a sales person or a company just to say HI? (See what I mean?)
   
   
8. Be in a good mood.
   All the time! Be the person that when the customer leaves or hangs up the phone, they think to themselves, "That was a great call/visit." Not in a good mood? Learn how to be. Remember one of our Telephone Doctor mottos: "A phony smile is better than a real frown." Do you really think the first runner up of the Ms. America contest is as "thrilled for the winner" as she says or shows she is? Talk about a great big phony smile!
   
   
9. Participate in customer service training programs at your company.
   Sure you know how to be a good CSR. But everyone could use a refresher. And if there are no programs in place on customer service, ask for them. At best, you’ll be ahead of the competition, and at worst, you’ll at least be even with them. Customer Service is not a department. It is a philosophy. And it’s for the entire company. Everyone needs to embrace it – or it doesn’t work.
   

Nancy Friedman is president of Telephone Doctor®, an international customer service training company headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri, specializing in customer service and telephone skills. She is a KEYNOTE speaker at association conferences and corporate gatherings and is the author of four best selling books. Call 314-291-1012 for more information or visit the website at www.telephonedoctor.com.

Published in Networking Today, September 2005.

How to Write a Killer Proposal

By Michael W. McLaughlin

The words "send me a proposal" are music to the ears of many consultants.

Even though they might not really enjoy writing proposals, most consultants jump at the chance because they believe that exciting, lucrative work might be right around the corner. The invitation to write a proposal is a milestone in the sales cycle—an opportunity to get one step closer to a client and a new project.

The best proposal is one you don't have to write. Tip the competitive scales in your favor and try to eliminate the proposal process altogether. A competitive field reduces the odds of landing the business, so sidestep that challenge, if possible.

It's less costly for you to write a letter confirming your services than to prepare a formal document proposing your services. Consultants rarely ask clients to award them the business without a formal proposal, so distinguish yourself and ask whether you can start the work using a letter of confirmation. What do you have to lose?

A confirmation letter differs from a proposal in that it describes specifically what you will do, not what you are proposing to do. The confirmation letter will describe the objective, scope, schedule, fees, and results. But since it's not subject to competitive bidding, many other elements of a proposal may not be needed, such as a long list of qualifications, case studies, and detailed descriptions of your firm. Most importantly, the confirmation letter approach ends the sales cycle in your favor. So…

• Explain to clients why they also benefit from skipping the competitive proposal process.
  
• Point out that the consultant selection process takes their time and attention away from their business.
  
• Stress that you have the skills to get the job done, and that the longer the process takes, the more it costs them and delays the resolution of their problems.
  

In one case, a client asked a consultant how to create a better process for communication between the client's engineering and manufacturing departments. The client intended to ask three other firms the same question and then solicit proposals.

Armed only with a white board and a marker, the first consultant led a three-hour discussion with the client team; that discussion dug out the real problem between the two groups, worked through a potential plan for creating the results the client needed and proposed a schedule.

At the end of the meeting, the consultant asked for 24 hours to solidify the work of the group and prepare a letter confirming the work. The client agreed and awarded the work to the consultant the very next day, without a competitive bidding process.

If consultants have done their homework in qualifying the project and the client, a request to confirm the project should seem natural. You have nothing to lose in showing the client exactly what you can do and then asking for the work. In the worst case, the client will say no.

Twelve Tips

For those times that drafting a proposal is inevitable, here are some things to keep in mind.

A public relations consultant once sent a proposal to a client for the design of a small PR campaign that was to be a test for additional campaigns in the future. The firm presented a beautifully packaged proposal with a description of their qualifications, their understanding of the project and their approach to completing the work.

After reviewing the proposal, the client noticed that the document footer showed a different client name, and in several places in the proposal the previous client's name was also used. The client threw the proposal in the round file.

To avoid this fate, follow a few guidelines before you send proposals to clients:

1. Create a powerful, but concise executive summary.
   
   
2. Focus on results, which matter more than methods and processes.Clients buy methods and approaches only when they know you can deliver results.
   
   
3. Be generous with your ideas; don't hoard them.Show clients how innovatively you think.
   
   
4. The length of the proposal doesn't win, but quality does.Projects are not awarded because proposals pass a weight test.
   
   
5. The proposal content must be about the client, not the consultant.Take a back seat and focus on how you will solve problems.
   
   
6. Your liberal use of "best practices" will label you as uncreative. Find the blend of outstanding practices and innovative solutions that fit your client's needs, not answers that worked for someone else.
   
   
7. Accuracy is essential. Validate all data and double-check to make sure it's right before you present it.
   
   
8. Sweat every small proposal detail, watch for typos, use high-quality materials, and make sure the right people receive the proposal on time.
   
   
9. Rewrite your résumé for every proposal. Highlight the skills in your résumé that demonstrate your qualifications. Your boilerplate résumé is rarely up to the task.
   
   
10. Let your proposal sit for a day and then reread it completely before sending it out.
    
    
11. Let your personality shine through your proposals. Give clients a sense of the firm and your style of working.
    
    
12. Don't let your proposal claims outdistance your true capabilities. Write an honest proposal, or you'll pay dearly in the future with blown budgets and unhappy clients.
    

The consulting proposal is a necessary evil. A great proposal can be decisive in winning a project; a poor one can cause you to lose a project, even if everything else in the sales process has gone flawlessly. Use these guidelines to a write a killer proposal every time.

Michael W. McLaughlin is the coauthor, with Jay Conrad Levinson, of Guerrilla Marketing for Consultants. Michael is a principal with Deloitte Consulting LLP, and the editor of Management Consulting News and The Guerrilla Consultant. Find out more at www.guerrillaconsulting.com and www.managementconsultingnews.com.

Published in Networking Today, September 2005.