Monday, December 1, 2003

How to Win a Client in 10 Days (Part 2)

By Andrew Sobel

In a world of highly sophisticated, knowledgeable clients, and ever-eager competition, how do you consistently distinguish yourself? This issue of Client Loyalty presents Part II of “How to Win a Client in 10 Days.” If you’ve missed Part I, with days 1 through 5, click here.

Day 6: Help your client see the big picture.

Another difference between the expert mindset and the advisor mindset is a focus on the big picture. Experts are great at analysis, but client advisors go further – they help their clients prioritize the issues, they see patterns in the data, and they ask thoughtful questions that can reframe the problem.

The best way to get good at synthesis – big picture thinking – is to become a deep generalist who has a core specialty but also a broad knowledge of markets, industries, and the overall environment your clients operate in. Research on creativity, and my own studies of great client advisors, also show that reflection is critical here. Our best ideas come during a period of rest and reflection following intense work. Every so often you have to pull yourself out of the details and reflect. It could happen while listening to a concert, or even while taking a long shower. Einstein, commenting on the sources of his great ideas, said, “The solitude of the countryside stimulated my creative thinking.”

Day 7: Develop greater personal trustworthiness.

For my most recent book, Making Rain, I interviewed a number of executives who started the conversation by saying, “Nowadays I’m wondering, whom can I really trust?” You need to gain a client’s trust in your expertise, but that’s just the start. Trust is based on four key factors. First, it requires integrity, which includes honesty, and on a day-to-day basis, consistency and reliability. Second, trust is based on competence. That may sound obvious, but the key word here is perceived competence. So, a client’s trust in your or your firm’s ability to tackle a particular problem will be in part based on how well you educate that client and position yourself. Third, a client’s trust will depend on your orientation: Are you focused on yourself and your agenda, or on the client, and his agenda? Finally, face time is critical to allow trust to grow. Email and conference calls are fine once you know someone, but they don’t build trust the way face to face contact does.

Day 8: Build a closer relationship through the key dimensions of likeability: PASFOR.

A great deal of scientific research has been done on why we feel comfortable with one person and not with another. Briefly, here are four of the six key drivers of personal comfort:

  1. Praise. Everyone responds to praise, including our clients. Start out with what’s right, and only then talk about what needs to change! Reflecting this aspect of human nature, a Hollywood comedian once quipped, “My wife tricked me into marrying her by telling me that she liked me!”

  2. Positive association. Clients will view you more positively – or negatively – depending on the associations with you and your firm. This is, of course, what’s behind high-paid celebrity endorsements.

  3. Similarity. We are drawn to people with whom we feel we have things in common. So always be searching for common ground, whether it’s the college you and a client went to or the simple fact that you both have pre-school children (you can commiserate about the crayon drawings on the new wallpaper).

  4. Familiarity. This ties back to face time and trust. We tend to like people and things we are familiar with. That’s why it’s important, even if you successfully conduct most of your business by phone or email, to periodically meet face-to-face with each of your key clients.
Day 9: Add core value, surprise value, and personal value.

Core value is what the client formally contracts for – your “deliverables” or “outputs.” And you have to, well, deliver. But you need to go further, and provide what I call surprise value. The nature of this surprise value will of course vary depending on your profession and the type of contact you have with your clients. You might give your client some suggestions about motivating and managing his executive team. You might identify a cost issue the client was unaware of. You might provide the client with some valuable market information, or make a valuable introduction. Then there’s personal value. Every client who works with us is getting something personal out of the relationship. One client might be interested in learning about your methodologies. Another might need an introduction to someone in the local community that you know. A third might have a high school senior who wants to go to your alma mater. Clients really stand up and take notice when you go beyond “deliverables” and provide this surprise and personal value.

Day 10: Treat your client like it’s day 1.

Baltasar Gracián, who was a famous 17th century Jesuit priest and advisor to Spanish noblemen, wrote a book of sayings called The Oracle. In it, he says, “You will be esteemed as long as you are new. Novelty pleases everyone because of its variety. A brand new mediocrity is more highly regarded than an extremely talented person to whom we have grown accustomed.” How little human nature has changed in the last 400 years! If you want to keep your clients for life, you have to bring the same excitement, enthusiasm, and new ideas to the one-hundredth meeting that you brought to the first meeting when you were wooing him. If you don’t, why would a client stick with you? One way to think about this is to pretend you are your competitor, and you want to steal this client away. What would your strategy be? Now, implement that strategy yourself.

I’ve sometimes thought that if married couples treated their spouses like newlyweds, the divorce rate would plummet! Complacency is the enemy of long-term client relationships.

Well, we’ve managed to rush through ten days in less than ten minutes of reading time! I’ll leave you with a final quote from Gracián, that well-known 17th century advisor that captures the spirit of the advisor mindset I’ve been trying to get across to you:
“Princes like to be helped, but not surpassed. When you counsel someone, you should appear to be reminding him of something he had forgotten, not the light he was unable to see.”
How to Win a Client in Ten Days – Days 1 through 5

Andrew Sobel is the leading authority on client relationships and the skills and strategies required to earn enduring client and customer loyalty. He is coauthor of Clients for Life: How Great Professionals Development Breakthrough Relationships (Simon & Schuster). He can be reached at (505) 982-0211 or by e-mail at andrew@andrewsobel.com www.andrewsobel.com

Published in Networking Today, December 2003.

Software Tips & Tricks Single Word Spell & Grammar Check

By Laura Noble

Spelling errors in Word (and PowerPoint) appear with a red wavy underline and grammar errors with a green wavy underline. There are times you are sure you have spelled a word correctly but do not want to go through an entire spell and grammar check to find out the correct spelling or grammar. Spell and Grammar

Check a Single Word:

  • Right-mouse click on the error and a short-cut menu will open displaying the suggested corrections

  • Left-click on correct spelling/grammar suggestion Single Word Spell Check also works in PowerPoint and FrontPage.

Stay tuned to Networking Today in the coming months for more Software Tips & Tricks from Noble Software Solutions.

Laura Noble is the owner of Noble Software Solutions. Laura can be contacted at 519-680-2689 or by e-mail at lnoble@noblesoftwaresolutions.com. www.noblesoftwaresolutions.com

Published in Networking Today, December 2003.

7 Ways to Help Kids Get and Stay Connected... Not to Computers, But to People

By Barbara Pachter

When I speak to parents on how to foster better connectivity skills (the ability to form and maintain relationships with others) in their kids, one of the first things I tell them is, “You have to teach your kids to say hello and goodbye to other people.”

And then they look at me, like “Duh, Barbara. Of course I teach my child to say hello.”

I believe that some parents do. Yet, based on the sheer number of kids and adults I meet, teach, and coach who tell me that schoolmates, coworkers, neighbours, and other acquaintances will see them and not say anything, I know something has gone wrong. We are failing to connect. We are failing to teach our kids how to connect with others.

Saying hello and goodbye does matter. It’s virtually impossible to connect with people if you don’t greet them—even with just a smile—to acknowledge that “I see you.” By doing so, kids put themselves “out there” in the world in a positive way. They create the opportunity to meet and get to know another person. That’s why greetings are the foundation of connectivity skills, because without them, your child’s relationships with others may not occur.

Here are 7 simple ways you can help kids connect with others through greetings:
  1. ROLE MODEL HOW TO SAY HELLO AND ACKNOWLEDGE OTHERS. If we don’t role model how to greet others, introduce ourselves, and shake hands, our kids are less likely to know how to do it, won’t know it’s important that they do it, and will therefore not be as confident or comfortable as others when meeting people. You absolutely need to communicate to kids through action and words: connecting with other people matters. Many people think they are greeting others but when they tune in and pay attention many find out they are not greeting as often as they think.

  2. OBSERVE YOUR CHILD WITH OTHERS. You don’t want to put your child under a microscope, but you do need to pay attention and watch if he or she is greeting others. Specifically try to notice her greeting patterns, such as, does she respond back when greeted? Does he know to say goodbye? Identifying your child’s connectivity comfort zones will help you help her move out of them. You can then gently encourage her to say hello to the new girl on the block or the kids at the playground if you see she’s holding back.

  3. TEACH YOUR CHILD THE IMPORTANCE OF EYE CONTACT. Kids need to be told that in order to truly connect, they have to make eye contact when they’re greeting others, making introductions, or saying goodbye, both with adults and other kids. Even some outgoing children will try to avoid making eye contact because it can be uncomfortable. Reassure your child that making eye contact gets easier over time.

  4. TEACH KIDS ABOUT NON-VERBAL GREETINGS. Adults know that in our complex and diverse world, not all greetings are verbal. We know that in addition to saying “hello” or “good morning” that we may kiss or hug good friends. To others that we see quickly in passing, we may just nod, smile, or wave. Let your child know that he can acknowledge friends though eye contact, a smile, a nod, or a wave. One shy boy would do a low wave to his friends and he became known for that.

  5. GIVE KIDS PERMISSION TO GREET ADULTS. Of course adults know it’s okay for kids to greet adults—in fact, that they do so and politely, but kids don’t know the boundaries. Almost every adult your child meets is in some way an authority figure, someone in a position of power. Most adults, especially teachers, principals, and people in uniform, do inspire awe and/or fear in kids. But parents should explain that as long as she’s in a safe environment, she should greet her teachers or coach, or other adults if she’s with you.

  6. LET KIDS TALK LIKE KIDS. Most kids, at least under the age of eight or nine, aren’t going to remember to say, “Good afternoon,” or “Nice seeing you,” and let’s face it, kids who are older would find that a strange greeting anyway. When kids are under the age of 12, “Hi,” or “See you,” are perfectly acceptable ways to greet and leave another child. One mom told me that hearing her eight-year old son say, “Hey,” to his friends made her cringe. I told her not to worry about it; at least he was greeting others and making the connections.

  7. HELP KIDS FEEL COMFORTABLE INTRODUCING THEMSELVES. You can make what can often be a difficult and painful experience—being the kid who doesn’t know anyone and isn’t introduced—a lot easier by teaching your child how to introduce herself. I find that kids do well when they practice a “What’s Your Line.” This is a simple one to three sentence introduction that includes a greeting and your child’s name, a quick fact that helps bridge the gap, like where your child is from or what class she’s in at school, and a question to the other person. “What’s your name?” is the best one for kids, especially under the age of 12.

Barbara Pachter is the author of "When the Little Things Count…And They Always Count" and "The Power of Positive Confrontation." She is a speaker, trainer, and coach specializing in communications, etiquette, and assertiveness issues. Pachter is writing a new book about the 99 most important connectivity skills to teach today’s techno-oriented kids who spend more time alone—in front of the TV, computers, and electronic games. (She is the author of six communications books and has now turned her attention to helping children learn connectivity skills based on the number of questions and comments she has gotten about kids in her adult classes.)

For a review copy of "When the Little Things Count" or "The Power of Positive Confrontation," contact Blanca Olivery: 212-614-7982, or Email: publicity@avalonpub.com

Published in Networking Today, December 2003.

Change the Language – and the Behavior Follows

By Joe Phelps

Our language is like a computer’s operating system. We are programmed by it. By using the right words (with the right people) you can change conflict to cooperation. Examine how you react when people get your name wrong or your title doesn't quite fit. Your team members will react in the same fashion and so will your customers.

Creating a company language strengthens your corporate culture and bonds your team in a way that company picnics can't. It makes everyone feel connected because they understand each other and feel respected.

It will also help your company win business in a couple of ways. First, your clients will subconsciously respond in a positive manner when they see how well your team relates to one another. Second, it makes potential customers more responsive because they will feel that you understand them and their needs better.

It is also wise to listen to how your customers communicate with each other and use their language when you do business with them.

Here are some words and phrases that do (and don’t) encourage to effect a change in attitudes.

Don’t use:

Boss – it’s an old world word. Try team leader, manager, associate, or whatever is appropriate. Individuals are their own boss. They don’t even have to show up. They simply determine their own level of success by reaping the positive or negative consequences of their actions. The more responsibility you have, the more you’re actually working for the people around you. So, say they work with you, not for you. And say you work with someone, not for them.

ASAP – busy schedules and relative importance of tasks render this acronym almost meaningless. Best to agree upon a specific date and time.

Departments – we abolished them at The Phelps Group to organize in client-based teams. We refer to people of the same skill as being in the same discipline.

Employees – it smacks of people working for others. Associates seem to work best for us.

Creatives – used in some ad agencies to refer to art directors and writers. This infers that our PR people aren’t creative. Or our promotion people, or producers aren’t creative. Or, anyone for that matter. We refer to our associates by their function: writer, PR specialist, producer, art director, etc.

Sold – don’t use "we sold it to the client." Better to say, something like, "We agreed on the concept." The spirit being that we came to the same conclusions and have alignment on next steps. No one wants to be sold. If you don’t have alignment, it won’t stay sold for long.

I – when referring to what has been accomplished. Give the credit to the team.

Make titles functional – not hierarchical. Avoid:

Supervisor – no one wants to be supervised. They want to be led. They want to be coached.

Executive – who isn’t an executive in professional services in a flat organization? Words like specialists, managers, leaders may work better.

Senior – it’s a relative term. Age is not much of an issue. Productivity is the yardstick, not seniority. And in many cases the younger are more productive because of their technological skills or energy level. This is not to say that we don’t respect and revere the wisdom that comes with age and experience. But titles are not the place to show this respect. (Plus, once you’re over 40, you’d probably rather not be referred to as "senior.")

With this spirit in mind, consider allowing people to make up their own titles. The guideline is to be descriptive of the functions performed, not a person’s relative importance within the organization.

In this same spirit, encourage the use of first names. Have the youngest people call the oldest by their first name. Publish phone lists alphabetized by first name. It’s friendlier.

Speaking of lists: Always list people alphabetically – never by rank. This goes for lists of client names as well – even if the client organization still adheres to the old style in its own communications. Don’t waste time and suffer anxiety figuring out a pecking order when building "To" and "CC" lists on a memo or report. People aren’t offended by seeing their name in alphabetical order. (But they are offended if you happen to put them lower than they expected in a pecking order listing.)

Using language appropriately will empower everyone in your organization, it is the most powerful tool you have. It is also simple to use. Start by setting the example and suggesting what words work best. Your team will quickly pick up the idea and the results will show in a stronger company culture and your bottom line.

Joe Phelps is the founder of The Phelps Group, one of the nation’s leading integrated marketing communications agencies located in Southern California. Phelps, who started his agency 20 years ago with one client, Fender Guitars, was named the "Entrepreneur Leader of the Year 2000" by the Los Angeles Advertising Association, is a Belding Award-winning writer and has been featured on the cover on Inc. magazine. At his agency, and prior to that at NW Ayer and Grey Advertising, Phelps managed multi-million dollar campaigns for many of America’s and Japan’s top companies. Phelps’ revolutionary business model is used as a case study at numerous universities, including Northwestern, Colorado, Pepperdine and USC. He may be contacted at (310) 752-4400 or through the Web site at www.pyramidsaretombs.com.

Published in Networking Today, December 2003.

Making Room for Your Life

By Janet Christensen

It is that time of year when most people are busy with the holiday season – gift buying and wrapping, sending greeting cards, social and family activities – and all of this on top of the usual demands of daily life. In spite of the fact that the holiday season arrives at the same time each year, it seems to catch some of us off guard. The holidays become a time of stress, rather than enjoyment. Then, once the round of holiday activities is over, we prepare for a new year. For many people, this means making New Year's resolutions, setting goals, and vowing that “this year it will be different.”

It is said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If you don't plan to do things differently, no amount of goal setting will help you achieve what you haven't been achieving up to now. Something has to change.

For many people, making resolutions and setting goals means adding things to already busy lives. If a cup is already full to the brim, there is no room to add more water. If you want to freshen up the water, some needs to be emptied out first. So it is with your life.

Consider emptying out some of the stale things from your life before you make your plans and goals for next year. This involves doing some self-reflection and making choices, some of which may be difficult. You don't need to have it all; you only need what fits with who you are and who you want to become. The rest is superfluous and holds you back. To paraphrase Cheryl Richarson, when you get rid of things that are holding you back and getting in your way, your path becomes much clearer, straighter, and easier.

How do you do decide what belongs and what to let go of? Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see what you need to purge from your busy-ness to make room for what you really want to create in your life:

  • Are there activities in my life that I do because I think I “should” do them, rather than because I enjoy them? (Anytime you hear yourself using the word “should” this is a red flag. Often, a “should” is something that is an energy drain, or an obligation rather than a willing choice.)

  • Is there something I am involved in that has become a burden or lost its appeal for me?

  • Are there people or activities in my life that sap my energy drains or are negative influences?

  • Am I spending time doing things that are not creating the life I want to have?

  • Review your planner. Are you spending time doing things that are not in alignment with your goals and values?

  • Do you feel like you're in a rut? (If you're in a rut, stop digging!)

  • With whom do your spend your free time?

  • Is there something that if you didn't have to do, would give you a feeling of huge relief?

  • Do you feel fulfilled? Is something missing?
You may have other questions to ask that are relevant for you. What is important is to take the time to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. If where you are and where you want to be are one and the same, congratulations! If they are not the same, how do you plan to get to where you want to be? What is holding you back that you can leave behind? What can you let go of to make room for your life?

Then give yourself permission to let go! Let go of the chaos. Let go of the energy drains in your life. Let go of trying to be everything to everybody...and make room to create the life you want to live that's in alignment with your goals and values. Give yourself permission to be who you long to be.

Janet Christensen’s passion is to empower people to live their full potential. Through her company, Unlimiting Potential, she provides personal coaching, experiential workshops, inspirational speaking, and is a Reiki practitioner. To contact Janet, phone: (519) 434-5397 fax: (519) 434-8344 or email info@janetchristensen.com www.janetchristensen.com

Published in Networking Today, December 2003.

Strategic Effectiveness: Setting Yourself Up to Win

By Leif Smith

What separates top athletes, coaches, and executives from others in their field? What do they do differently when faced with the same obstacles or circumstances? The answers may surprise you.

Top performers, no matter what the venue or context, establish better habits. They establish effective habits; those habits that produce tremendous results in their lives. These habitual behaviours allow them to go on “autopilot” and position themselves for maximum productivity. They set themselves up to “win” in their lives.

These habits are as follows:

  1. Effective Time Management

    Effective time management focuses on meaningful task completion rather than crisis task completion. Meaningful tasks are those that directly affect the quality of your life: things such as your relationships, your finances, your career, your spiritual beliefs, etc. Crisis tasks are those tasks, either meaningful or trivial, that need to be completed at an urgent pace. Tasks that would fall into this category include returning phone calls, completing reports, taking the car into the repair shop, etc.

    Most highly productive individuals spend their time completing meaningful, non-urgent tasks. This has the effect of actually reducing the amount of tasks that are crisis-based and urgent. Occasionally things come up that need to be dealt with immediately – a friend in need wants some company, the brakes on your car need to be replaced, or your child is sick and needs to see the doctor. However, most of the crises that we as individuals deal with on a daily basis could have been prevented with better time management. Spend time on meaningful, non-crisis tasks in your life and watch as your stress level is reduced dramatically as the number of crisis-related tasks reduce proportionally.

  2. Proactive Thinking Rather Than Reactive Thinking

    High-achieving individuals think differently than others. They do this through first establishing a proactive mindset, which means that they are able to anticipate and act accordingly, no matter what the situation. They plan for contingencies. There are three important aspects to proactive thinking:

    A. Proactive thinking is future-oriented
    B. Proactive thinking is opportunity-oriented
    C. Proactive thinking is positive in nature

    The difference in mental states between individuals that are reactive versus proactive is startling. Reactive mindsets lead to increased amounts of anxiety (due to the inability to foresee change and obstacles) and frustration (due to feelings of helplessness).

  3. People Skills Effective individuals learn to master people skills. Why? Because all of us, no matter how independent, need to relate to others and interact on a daily basis. We are social creatures by nature. Good people skills entail:

    A. Responsiveness–good listening skills,attention to facts, faces,moods

    B. Empathy–understanding the fundamentals of being human (fear,anxiety, love, etc.)

    C. Integrity – keeping confidences (especially your own!), following through on tasks and promises, showing appropriate respect and loyalty

  4. Continuous Learning Successful individuals – those that achieve maximum effectiveness with the minimum output of time and energy – are always seeking to learn more about the world around them. They seek knowledge to better themselves and their understanding of the world around them.

    High achievers are frequently able to discuss a myriad of topics – from national politics to local sports to international economics. Part of this may be due to the fact that successful individuals have traveled to many places around the globe, but a larger part of this is because these individuals are curious by nature. They enjoy expanding their intellectual horizons, and this knowledge-seeking tendency allows for their conversations to be characterized by breadth and depth. People who are able to converse about many different topics are both rare and refreshing.

    Some tips to expand your intellectual horizons include:

    A. Read new books outside your usual area of comfort. If you enjoy biographies, choose instead to find a good bestseller fiction novel.

    B. Attempt to meet people outside of your usual circle of friends. Attend gatherings, join a new club, talk to people at your current health club.

    C. Spend time each day at Web sites devoted to world news. Become familiar with current issues at home and abroad.

    D. Learn a new language. Find a penpal or email buddy from that country to communicate with using your new knowledge.
These four habits, of which I have given a brief overview, establish the foundation for successful productivity, and are the hallmark of those who achieve at a high level. Work to improve each habit in your own life, and you will see a steady increase in your productivity and happiness.

Leif Smith, Psy.D., President of Personal Best Consulting, LLC, has worked with athletes and coaches from The University of Iowa, The Ohio State University, and the College of Wooster. He specializes in improving performance and production, and has also worked with corporations such as America Online. Subscribe to the free monthly email newsletter, "Personal Bests: Techniques for Living an Extraordinary Life" when visiting his Web site at www.personalbestconsulting.com.

Published in Networking Today, December 2003.

Solve the Old Problems in New Ways

By Barbara Bartlein

There is a new retail survey that shows that men do not like to shop. The sale of men’s apparel has dropped from $10.6 billion in 1998 to $9.9 billion in 2002 according to the National Retail Federation. They found that men are not only shunning trendy styles—they are not buying much at all. The only category of spending for men’s retail clothes that has increased is underwear and sleepwear, which for many men is basically the same. Purchases of athletic clothing, dress clothing, dress shoes, and athletic apparel have all decreased. For the most part, men only venture in the store to buy clothes when they absolutely have to.

I could have told you that. My husband still has the same pair of dress shoes from our wedding 23 years ago. I think he has only worn them a half dozen times. Based on their current wear, I am almost certain I will be able to bury him in that pair of shoes. He sees no value in shopping unless he needs something and then his approach is to get in and out as quickly as possible.

The really interesting part of the survey, however, is the reaction of retailers to the struggling market. Some, like Gadzooks, are eliminating their men’s line altogether and replacing it with a larger female apparel section. Brooks Bros. plans to return to their traditional dressier look with a wider selection of suits. (Is anyone really wearing suits these days?) And Target plans to decrease their men’s selection and devote the additional floor space to food and paper goods. Several others like department stores and specialty stores are looking for ways to enhance the shopping experience for men in hopes that they will not limit their buying to the times that their current clothing is falling apart.

There was not one retailer, however, who really came up with an innovative solution to the whole “male shopping phobia.” It seems that no one is asking, “Who buys for men?” My guess is that it is probably women. Mothers, wives, sisters, and girlfriends do most of the buying in my circle of friends and business acquaintances for the men in their lives. What about a store that would make it easy for others to shop for men?

To obtain the best solutions for business problems, it is important to consider a different viewpoint, not just more of the same. Here are some suggestions:
  • Define who your customer really is. Who is actually doing the buying and who is paying the invoice? While a meeting planner may be purchasing my services, it is the head of the organization that is actually paying the invoice. Both need to be happy with the program delivered, or I will not be asked to return.

  • Be easy to find. Make sure your business is visible; in the phone book, on the Web, in the community, and in trade journals. Place information rich articles in newsletters and other submissions. It establishes your group as a team of experts and makes the business come to you.

  • Make it simple for them to buy. The purchase process should be effortless with a minimum of hassle and problems. Customers evaluate the service by how long they have to wait and the friendliness of the staff. Make sure both service features are perfect.
A man once went into a pet store and saw an elaborate dog toy with an equally outrageous price tag. Complaining to the store clerk, he said, “How do you know dogs even like this?”

“I’ve never had a dog buy one,” he replied. “But their owners love it.”

Sign up for Barbara's FREE email newsletter at www.barbbartlein.com.

Barbara Bartlein is the PeoplePro™. She helps businesses sell more goods and services by developing people. She can be reached at 888-747-9953, by email at: barb@barbbartlein.com or visit her Web site at www.ThePeoplePro.com.

Published in Networking Today, December 2003.