Networking, Connecting, Building Rapport

By Karen Susman

Being a networking nut, I'm always looking for new ways to make Remarkable Associations! Recently, I read a book called “How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less” by Nicholas Boothman. Some of Boothman's ideas that may benefit you are:

1. Realize your job in making connections is to reduce the fight or flight response in the other person. When you meet someone new be open, positive, approachable, non-confrontational, and aware of the other person's reaction to you.
   
   
2. Use metaphors to describe what you do. For instance, if you sell insurance, you might say using insurance is like planting a garden. Then explain what you mean. Using a metaphor gives your networking partner a picture of what you do.
   
   
3. Offer a reason why you want something. For instance, if you'd like an appointment with someone, instead of saying, "I'd like to meet with Ms. Jones on Thursday," say, "I'd like to meet with Ms. Jones on Thursday because my services might be able to save her a lot of money." Studies showed this worked when people butted in line. If they used "because," there was increased compliance.
   
   
4. Use positive language instead of planting negative thoughts. If someone asks you to do something, don't say "No problem." Say, "It would be a pleasure." If this sounds silly, please don't think about an elephant.
   
   
5. We've all heard of the elevator speech or the seven-second commercial that briefly tells what you do. Here's a step to take before you form your short promo. Come up with your "Big Idea." Your "Big Idea" is what drives you. For instance, perhaps your Big Idea is that you want to make a difference in the health of those in your community. Or, perhaps you want to make people's lives easier. You don't announce your Big Idea to people, but it propels you. Ask yourself, "Am I doing/living my big idea?" Thinking and acting your Big Idea will give you confidence, too.
   
   
6. Respond. When people are speaking to you, listening isn't enough. Encourage them with questions, statements or even "Hmmmm." These show you are engaged in what they are saying. You can encourage non-verbally, too. Lean in, make eye contact, nod appropriately, and mirror your facial expression to the speaker's.

Try some of these ideas. Importantly, keep in mind that your goal is to build rapport with others. Then you can build a relationship. Then you can get what you want.

Karen Susman is a Speaker, Trainer, Coach, and Author of 102 Top Dog Networking Secrets. Karen works with organizations that want to maximize performance. Programs include Humour at Work; Balance In Life; Networking Skills; Presentation Skills; and Building Community Involvement. Order new guidebooks on humour, networking, time management, and community involvement by calling 1-888-678-8818 or e-mail Karen@KarenSusman.com. www.KarenSusman.com. Published in Networking Today, August 2005.