Miscommunications in a World of Communications

By Nancy Friedman

Is there anyone reading this that hasn’t had some sort of “miscommunication” in their daily work schedule? It’s like the road sign we saw a while back, "Eat here and get gas." The Tonight Show runs that type of segment every once in a while.

Well, today there are seven valid Touch Points of Communication. Seven ways we can foul up any relationship (business or personal). You’re familiar with them all, I’m sure. But as they say "a refresher is good for the soul." Take the Telephone Doctor ride with me.

Email, voice mail, regular mail, phone, fax, face-to-face, and instant messaging. There they are. Of these seven touch points, the way we communicate with each other, three are SYNCHRONOUS and four are ASYNCHRONOUS. Meaning three are instant phone, face-to-face, and instant messaging. The other four methods of communication, we wait for an answer.

Touch Point #1: The Telephone (You knew I’d take that first, didn’t you?)

This includes your cell phone as well. Telephone Doctor surveys show that more than 80% of all business transactions involve a phone call at one point or another. The telephone is synchronous, meaning you’re in sync with the person you’re communicating with. You have a simultaneous two-way exchange of information.

This doesn’t mean you need to agree with the person; just that you are both able to communicate immediately. The best part of this touch point, is the ability to hear tone of voice. The telephone is much like the radio. You hear and your imagination takes over. No sight. Just sound. The telephone is the most effective and popular method of communication (providing you have reached the called party). You can get answers quickly (again, providing you have reached the called party). Respond rapidly. As you might imagine, this particular touch point is my personal favorite. I don’t even want caller ID. Takes all the fun out of a phone call!

Touch Point #2: Email This method of communication is "asynchronous."

Meaning you communicate one at a time and you may not get immediate communication back. And with email, you have relinquished interpretation of the tone of voice to the other person (DANGEROUS!). Email etiquette is fairly new. Email is a delivery method that has the ability to “sit” for hours, sometimes days, without an answer. A Telephone Doctor client once told us "when there are more than two emails on the same topic back and forth, it’s time for a face-to-face or phone meeting."

A friendly reminder to be careful in your emails. Many hurt feelings have come about due to insensitive writing. This is a good place to practice all your “pleases,” “thank you’s” and “you’re welcomes.” Short, terse, one-word answers can be perceived as “rude.” (But that’s in any touch point!)

Touch Point #3: Voice Mail (This really needs to be its own article, but for the sake of expediency, read on.)

Again, voice mail is an "asynchronous" means of communication. You can leave a voice mail for someone and when you get an answer, if ever, it’s up to that person, not you. It’s not instantaneous as speaking with someone directly on the phone. So, here again, your voice mail needs to be special.

As we’ve said many times, there are three types of voice mail that you can leave – a poor, an average, and a great one. When you leave a voice mail, make it a great one. Remember, you get to use your tone of voice. That’s a real plus. The called party can hear the laughter, the smile, and the tone. Use it to your advantage. It’s a fact, messages that are received in an upbeat, positive tone are returned faster than a monotone, negative voice mail.

Touch Point #4: Letters As we all will agree, the Postal Service was one of the first methods of communication.

And it’s still used as a great method of communication. It goes along with emails, though, because the written word can often be miscommunicated easily. So email, voice mail, and post mail are similar when communicating. All are “asynchronous.” You wait for an answer.

Touch Point #5: Fax Add this to the list above.

You’ll wait for an answer. Remember when the fax came on the scene? Seems as though we didn’t know how we could operate without a fax machine. And today, it trails sadly behind the other touch points. Yet, it’s still there and being used, just not as much or as often. And a Telephone Doctor reminder, again, the fax is asynchronous. One-way information waiting for an answer.

Touch Point #6: Face-to-Face This obviously needs very little explanation.

When we communicate face-to-face, we have it all. Sight, sound, tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, the entire package. It is the ultimate synchronous touch point. And yet, with all these helpful tips, somehow we still continue to miscommunicate with each other.

Touch Point #7: Messaging This method is fairly new compared to our other channels of communication.

And while we do log it as synchronous, providing the person you IM is also online at the same time, this method can also be combined with a phone call. And all the same "niceties" of please, thank you, and you’re welcome need to be applied.

A review:

• Telephone (synchronous): If you have reached your called party, GREAT! That’s immediate. It’s also good for leaving messages that don’t need an immediate answer. If you need immediate action, try to reach another person. The telephone is only synchronous when you have reached the called party.
  
  
• Voice Mail (asynchronous): Leaving messages that will be returned when the called party decides to do it. (If ever.) Email (asynchronous): Again, one-way communication. Keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Use your manners. Remember, one word answers can be perceived as rude.
  
  
• Letters (asynchronous): Still a great way to communicate. But be careful with the written word. Keep in mind how miscommunication might occur. We all have stories of miscommunications that have come back to haunt us.
  
  
• Fax (asynchronous): For those that still use this method of communication, one-pager’s are appreciated. And again, the written words need to be checked and double-checked to be sure it won’t be miscommunicated.
  
  
• Face-to-Face (synchronous): The ultimate method of communication. Immediate reaction, tone, sight, sound, body language.Total “synchronous” communication. And that hug or handshake can make it all worthwhile.
  
  
• Instant Messaging (synchronous): The "new kid" on the block; and becoming more and more common. It can be bolstered at times with a follow up phone call.
  

Bottom line: There are lots of ways to miscommunicate in today’s world. Follow Telephone Doctor’s simple, yet effective guidelines and you’ll be known for understanding and being understood.

Nancy Friedman is president of Telephone Doctor®, an international customer service training company headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri, specializing in customer service and telephone skills. She is a KEYNOTE speaker at association conferences and corporate gatherings and is the author of four best selling books. Call 314-291-1012 for more information or visit the website at www.telephonedoctor.com.

Published in Networking Today, May 2006.