Try the “Waiter Rule” to Evaluate People

By Barbara Bartlein

Working my way through college, I waited tables and tended bar. Though I have several degrees with an emphasis on human behavior and psychology, I swear I learned more about people from slinging hash and pouring drinks. I can remember accidentally spilling a few drops of an ice cream drink on a lady’s skirt and being totally humiliated as she screamed at me in the restaurant. I also recall a very kind man who didn’t get upset even though there were repeated problems with his order.

Rudeness to service staff reveals information about a person’s character reported in a recent article in USA Today. Office Depot CEO, Steve Odland, who also waited tables as a teenager, states, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats a waiter.” It seems that he is not the only CEO to discover the “Waiter Rule.”

The Waiter Rule has been identified by many executives, including Raytheon CEO, Bill Swanson. There is one rule that Swanson says never fails: “A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person.” Swanson first identified this phenomenon when he was eating with a man who became irate to a waiter because the restaurant did not stock a particular wine.

“Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with,” Swanson writes. “Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”

The Waiter Rule can also apply to how people treat those in other service roles like bellmen, hotel maids, clerks, and secretaries according to USA Today. This can be more indicative of someone’s character than hours of interview questions in a formal setting. Some CEO’s ask front line receptionists and secretaries how they were treated by job applicants as part of their evaluation.

Using the Waiter Rule can be an accurate predictor of character because it isn’t easily learned or unlearned. It is more likely a person’s true colors and speaks to how they were raised and their value system. How a potential manager treats a waiter may be how they treat employees.

Some behaviors that indicate a problem:

• Playing the power card. Comments like “I could buy this place,” or “Do you know who I am?” reveal more about the diner’s character than his wealth or power. It is unlikely that he will be effective in leading a team if he is consumed with power and control.
  
  
• Having a short fuse. This person may have an ego that is out of control. It is a way of saying that she is better than the wait staff; she is special. These people tend not to be collaborative as they work with others.
  
  
• Demanding about every detail. You may be looking at a micro-manager who consistently sends a message to his team that their best isn’t good enough. He may have limited skills in coaching, mentoring, and encouragement.
  
  
• Speaking in a condescending manner. The message here is clear; she thinks she is better than those in subordinate positions. She may have a need to feel important by putting others down.
  
  
• Making a public scene. If he embarrasses you in the restaurant, he will embarrass you in the workplace. At best he has poor manners, at worst, his judgment is faulty. Either way, he will not make a good employee.
  
  
• Easily turning on and off the charm. These folks have situational values which may also indicate situational ethics. People with firm character adhere to their value system regardless of the circumstances. Avoid these people like the plague.
  
  
• Constantly looking around the room. Rather than being focused on the table conversation, he is distracted and not engaged. He may be looking to see who else is there or whether he is being noticed. Regardless, he will have the same behavior when meeting with his team or community board.
  
  
• Poor tipper. She may justify leaving a poor tip with various complaints about the service or the waiter. Anyone who has ever worked in a service industry knows that it is very hard work with a low base pay. If the service is adequate, a 15% tip is customary. A twenty percent or more gratitude is standard for exceptional service.

The Waiter Rule has also been noticed on the dating scene. A November survey of 2,500 by It’s Just Lunch, a dating service for professionals, found that being rude to waiters ranks No. 1 as the worst in dining etiquette. Some waiters report that women will actually pull them aside to see how much their dates tipped to obtain insight into his use of money and other tendencies.

Try using the Waiter Rule whether you are looking for an employee or a spouse. You may save yourself a lot of future problems by dining out.

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Barbara Bartlein, is the People Pro and President of Great Lakes Consulting Group. She offers speaking, training, and consultation to help businesses sell more goods and services. She can be reached at 888-747-9953, by email at: barb@thepeoplepro.com, or visit her Web site at www.ThePeoplePro.com Published in Networking Today, June 2006.