Create a Happy New Year

By Barbara Bartlein

The happiest people surround themselves with close friends and family, become engrossed in their work, don’t worry about material things, and forgive easily according to new research in “positive psychology.”

After studying sadness and depression for years, researchers are beginning to focus their efforts on what makes people happy, a movement in psychology that “emphasizes people’s strengths rather than weaknesses,” according to Martin E. P. Seligman, a University of Pennsylvania psychologist and author of the new book Authentic Happiness. The work of Seligman and other researchers in the field is lending insight into the dynamics of happiness. Here is what they have discovered about happy people:

• They spend time with others. The happiest people spent the least amount of time alone. They connect with many groups of friends and are active in the community. They enjoy being a part of a team and seek out opportunities to connect with others.
  
  
• They don’t care what others do or have. They don’t judge themselves by anyone else’s yardstick. They stay focused on their own goals and objectives, not worrying a great deal what anyone else thinks. They avoid comparisons with others recognizing that there will always be people who have more or better.
  
  
• They don’t worry about materialism. Even rich materialists aren’t as happy as those who care less about getting and spending. “Materialism is toxic for happiness,” according to Ed Diener, a University of Illinois psychologist. This “affluensa” leads folks to chase after the new and improved models always having happiness somewhere in the future. Happy people focus on appreciating what they have instead of wanting more.
  
  
• They lead a life of activity and satisfaction. Happy people are very busy and describe themselves as “in the flow.” They are absorbed in activities that reflect their talents and creativity. They approach each day with eager anticipation. Work is viewed as a challenge and an opportunity. They find jobs that reflect their talents and aspirations and constantly advance their education with reading and formal classes.
  
  
• Happy people know their signature strengths. They have a good idea of the special gifts that they bring to their families, their relationships, and the community. They make every effort to share these gifts in an unselfish and thoughtful way. Through career, hobbies, and other activities they are constantly exploring and expanding their areas of interests.
  
  
• They practice a life of gratitude. Life satisfaction is closely aligned with gratitude, according to psychologists researching happiness. Talking and writing about what they are grateful for amplifies these feelings and keeps their lives in focus. Happy people make it a habit to reflect on their blessings and savour the small pleasures that life has to offer.
  

They are experts in forgiveness. Of all the personality characteristics most aligned with happiness, forgiveness was found to be the most important. It is also the most difficult trait to embrace, however. It is found that people have to actively practice forgiveness and make a conscious effort to “let go” of negative feelings and emotion. As C. Leslie Charles, author of Why is Everyone So Cranky? explains, “Your heart can only hold anger or love, not both. You have to decide which one serves you better.”

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Barbara Bartlein is the PeoplePro™. She helps businesses sell more goods and services by developing people. She can be reached at 888-747-9953, by email at: barb@barbbartlein.com or visit her Web site at www.ThePeoplePro.com.

Published in Networking Today, January 2003.