Are You a Spoiled Brat Negotiator

By Kim Duke

I was pushing my chocolate-laden shopping cart at the grocery store the other day (yes – Divas grocery shop!) and saw a power negotiator in action.

This person was persistent, passionate, and absolutely on purpose! They were also less than 4 feet high.

Yeah, you guessed it lady – I saw a 6 year old girl with pig-tails seriously work her mother for a different kind of yogurt. I know – yogurt? (if it had been me – it would have been sugar cereal or a chocolate bar all the way!)

You got it – this little blonde, blue-eyed dynamo was determined she wasn’t going to have to eat the stuff out of the “big” plastic, boring container. She wanted the stuff in the colorful tubes instead! I kid you not – this is what I heard her say (this child should be teaching sales):

“But Mom – this kind tastes better and I always eat it at school.”

BINGO!

Mom folded like a taco and a little girl got her box of tube yogurt. And a Sales Diva received some inspiration for a column!

Are You A Spoiled Brat At Negotiating?

This little girl absolutely “wowed” me with her negotiating skills because she inadvertently said what her mother needed to hear. Benefit. Benefit. Benefit.

So, she actually wasn’t a spoiled brat negotiator at all.

But YOU probably are.

One of the biggest reasons most people SUCK at negotiating is because it’s all about ME, ME, ME! Remember – a successful negotiation is not where you have STICKY FINGERS.

Follow these 5 Bossy Sales Diva Rules instead:

1. Stay calm. If you’re stamping your feet in the sandbox about what you want and lose all sense of logic…well then – you have just become vulnerable in the world of negotiating. And you’re about to lose your favorite toy. (In my world – this means MONEY)
   
   
2. Pouting doesn’t work. If your potential customer isn’t seeing the value of what you offer – that’s YOUR ISSUE and not theirs. No one likes a defensive cry-baby.
   
   
3. Share Your Toys. A successful negotiation is where both parties feel like it was a Win-Win. No one should feel they were “taken for a merry-go-round-ride.”
   
   
4. Play With The Right People. Are you really busy chasing people who have no need for your services? You’re going to get a lot of rejection. Be super clear on who your target audience is.
   
   
5. Don’t Reward Bad Behavior. Hey – stop giving discounts to people who always want the cheapest price or who only want to buy something small. Reward your loyal customers, or people who are making a large commitment of time and investment in you.
   

When I was a kid, my sister’s favorite expression to me was “You’re not the BOSS of me!”

She was right.

The only person who is THE BOSS OF YOU – IS YOU.

It’s time you grew up and realized that you have VALUE and you don’t have to be the cheapest kid on the block. You don’t need everyone to like you – you just need more of the kinds who do.

So there.

Kim Duke, The Sales Diva, provides savvy, sassy sales training for women small biz owners and entrepreneurs. Kim works with clients internationally, showing them The Sales Diva secrets to success! Sign up for her saucy and smart FREE e-zine and receive her FREE Bonus Report "The 5 Biggest Sales Mistakes Women Make" at www.salesdivas.com.

Published Networking Today September 2008