Smile…It May Be the Boss Calling

By Nancy Friedman

The week of August 11th was National SMILE WEEK. Yes, I’m serious.

And there’s rarely a program I present that someone doesn’t ask me if smiling is really that important – either on the phone or in person. People actually ask me: "Nancy, can you really hear a smile?" Yes, Virginia, you can really hear a smile. And your caller can hear the lack of a smile as well.

So, this is a column about SMILING and the reasons for it. Now, if you happen to already be a smiler, you might want to pass this article on to someone who isn’t, or doesn’t know that you can hear a smile.

First, let’s take the word “smile” from Webster’s dictionary:

SMILE: To smile, be astonished; to have or take on a facial expression, showing pleasure, amusement, affection, friendliness, irony, etc….and characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth and a sparking of the eyes

See!! It’s something most everyone can easily do.

And if it’s that easy...don’t you wonder why more people don’t do it? Haven’t you ever been in a store, or just been walking around, and see that people aren’t smiling. Even when you start talking with them?

A recent New York Times review by Roxana Popescu of the book A Brief History of the Smile written by Angus Trumble asks a very good question: "Why do English speaking people say CHEESE to make you smile, but Chinese speakers say Eggplant?" And Trumble continues, "The spontaneous smile of the little child is essentially truthful."

"Certainly we all know, not saying “please” and “thank you” is usually considered rude," says Friedman, "but the list of rude behavior is much longer than those offenses. I’m not sure why we constantly need to be reminded to smile," she continues, "but we do. You’d think it was common sense to smile when you’re with a customer." Ah, but common sense is not that common now, is it?

Will a smile help? Well, as my mother used to say, "it couldn’t hurt." Keep a mirror by your desk. That is yet another good reminder to keep a smile on your face when you’re talking with customers.

My husband and I are in airports a lot. We’ve made a conscience decision to keep a slight smile on our face when we walk through them. Why? Because when we look at the faces coming toward us... mouths turned downwards, looking worse than sad – almost mad...we decided we didn’t want to look like that. Sure, it may feel a little funny keeping that little smile on our face, but we both know we look better for it.

SMILE week reminded me of a story a skycap told me a few years ago. You’ll enjoy it.

Joe, our friendly skycap at the St. Louis airport told me this story. He was walking through the airport a while back and came upon a woman sitting hunched over on her luggage – mouth turned down as far as it could be turned down. She looked – in his words – terrible. He decided to go over and ask her if she was okay. "Excuse me, M’am," he said, "are you okay?" The woman looked up –mouth continuing to be turned down, and grumbled a mean "YES." "Well," he said, "Notify your face."

So remember, if someone comes up to you and asks, "Are you okay?" it probably means you don’t look very happy. Now say..."Cheese."

Nancy Friedman is president of Telephone Doctor®, an international customer service training company headquartered in St. Louis, Missouri, specializing in customer service and telephone skills. She is a KEYNOTE speaker at association conferences and corporate gatherings and is the author of four best selling books. Call 314-291-1012 for more information or visit the Web site at www.telephonedoctor.com.

Published Networking Today September 2008