New Networking Tip: The Relationship Rapport Builder

By Karen Susman

Here's a way to build instant rapport when you introduce yourself to someone new. Say your name and establish your connection to someone or something that he or she knows or can relate to easily. This works in social as well as business situations.

For instance, let's say you are invited by a colleague, Joan Denner, to attend the Des Moines Consulting Engineers association meeting. Joan is the president of the DMCE. She feels you will make some valuable contacts at the meeting. Joan leaves you on your own to network with the DMCE members.

Everyone seems to know everyone else. You don't know a soul. You approach Chris, a DMCE member. You can introduce yourself by saying, "Hello. My name is Jack Spratt. I promote low fat eating." Chris will glaze over and wonder why you're at this meeting of engineers. Or, you can introduce yourself by saying, "Hello. My name is Jack Spratt. I work with Joan Denner (or, "Joan Denner invited me to the meeting.")." Instantly, you have established rapport with Chris. You have established yourself as someone worthy of being part of DMCE. You have leveled the playing field.

People like people who are like them. So, when you meet new people, consider what your commonalities are with the group and the individuals. Then, instead of giving your elevator speech or reciting your résumé, make it easy for your networking partners to relate to you. This puts them at ease and opens up communication.

This is a simple, effective technique. It does require you focus on the other person instead of on yourself. Try this and let me know how it works for you.

Karen Susman is a Speaker, Trainer, Coach, and Author of 102 Top Dog Networking Secrets. Karen works with organizations that want to maximize performance. Programs include Humour at Work; Balance In Life; Networking Skills; Presentation Skills; and Building Community Involvement. Order new guidebooks on humour, networking, time management, and community involvement by calling 1-888-678-8818 or e-mail Karen@KarenSusman.com. www.KarenSusman.com. Published in Networking Today, September, 2004.

Improving Listening Skills

By Nancy Friedman

Pretend you’re a real estate agent, showing a five million dollar home to a nationally known sports star. This sports star and his beautiful actress wife really like the house. If the sale is made...the commission will allow you to buy a new luxury car and pay off a lot of bills.

As the sale is about to be closed, the athlete’s cell phone rings and his smile turns to a frown. He has just been traded and will be leaving town. He relays the message to his wife who breaks down and cries. Question: how old is the real estate person?

Give up? It’s not a trick. You might want to re-read the scenario. It says pretend YOU are a real estate sales person – so how old are you?

OK, it was a trick. But no trickier than listening to your customers whether you’re on the phone or in person. Listening is an art – not a science. And while we usually can “hear” customers, Telephone Doctor often wonders if we’re really “listening” to them.

You might think listening is easy. After all, doesn't everybody listen?

Listening isn’t the same as hearing. Think about a commercial for a product you have no interest in – it’s easy to tune that information out, isn’t it?

Hearing is one thing, but listening and mentally absorbing the thoughts is another thing. That's why we say listening is an art – not a science. While it’s easy to “hear” what the customer says, great customer service begins with great listening skills.

Here are six steps to becoming a better listener. And if you think you’re already a pretty good listener, pass this along to someone who could also benefit from improved listening skills.

TIP #1 – DECIDE TO BE A BETTER LISTENER

In school, you’re taught to read, write, do math, and dozens of other topics. I don’t know about you, but in all my schooling, I don’t ever recall having a course on listening. And yet, as we all know, listening is an important, some would say even a crucial skill. The first step is all about you – your personal commitment to being a better listener.

You need to decide to be a better listener. So make that decision now. You’re going to be a better listener and you're going to work at it. And here's how...

TIP # 2 – WELCOME THE CUSTOMER

Be obviously friendly. By being obviously friendly and welcoming the customer, it immediately sets the stage to let the customer know that you’re interested and actively listening. One effective way to show you're listening is to tell the customer: "You've come to the right place."

TIP #3 – CONCENTRATE

Your mind processes information much faster than the normal rate of speech and because of that ability, your mind half-listens and does other things, too. Your brain tends to solve other problems, to think about what you’re going to say next, other calls you need to make, lunch plans, or a host of other activities.

The mind needs to be disciplined to pay full attention to your customer and to listen closely. Even when you try to listen closely, little things can distract you, like a regional accent, or someone who speaks too rapidly, or when the customer’s discussing a topic you don’t find interesting. It’s easy to be distracted by things happening around you. But don't let that happen. Concentrate.

TIP #4 – KEEP AN OPEN MIND

We'd go a long way toward curing the problem of poor listening habits by not interrupting our customers. By carefully listening and letting the customer finish his conversation, you hear him out completely. AVOID JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS. That's an important step in the direction of keeping an open mind and solving the real problem.

This is a good time to talk about the difference between a "fact" and "assumption." A statement of fact is normally made after an observation. An assumption can be made any time – before, during, or after an observation (or with no observation at all).

We want to operate as closely as we can with facts rather than assumptions. And a good listener tries to stay objective and not be judgmental. Try not to let personal impressions modify what you hear. Keep an open mind.

TIP #5 – GIVE FEEDBACK THAT YOU’RE LISTENING

Often, when the person on the other end of the line doesn't give you feedback, you think you've been disconnected. Remember, with the phone there are no visual signals. Too much silence on the phone, or even in person, gives the impression you're not listening.

Even when you're thinking, or looking for something, you need to send feedback – a variety of short replies acknowledging the customer. Give her a spoken signal that you're receiving the message. Phrases like "bear with me while I look that up" or "let's see what the notes say..." are examples. And notice, too, I said a variety of replies...not one word like okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

TIP #6 – TAKE NOTES WHILE YOU LISTEN AND REVIEW NOTES WITH THE CUSTOMER

I know this is basic, but it’s so important. There needs to be paper and a pen or pencil by every phone. Write down key words as people talk – the customer’s name, what he needs, and any follow-up items. Please don’t take a chance on forgetting when it’s so easy to write things down. Make up your own abbreviation system as a memory jogger. And if your customer gives you lots of extra information, eliminate the unnecessary bits that can be safely discarded. Whether you’re taking a telephone message or helping a customer, repeat and paraphrase the message back to the customer to be sure you’ve got it correct. It lets the customer know you’ve really listened.

Mistakes happen. We’re only human. However, many mistakes are avoidable. If we could get 250,000 people to make one less mistake, a mistake that costs their company just $40, that would be a savings of $10 million dollars. And it’s such a simple thing to do.

Nancy Friedman, president of Telephone Doctor Customer Service Training, is a popular keynote speaker at conferences and corporate meetings. She can be reached at (314) 291-1012 or check out the Telephone Doctor Web site at www.telephonedoctor.com.


Published in Networking Today, September 2004.

30 Quick Tips to Help You When Visiting a Tradeshow

By Susan A. Friedmann, CSP

Exhibitors often have to reverse roles and find themselves on the other side of the aisle playing tradeshow attendee. According to a CEIR (Center for Exhibition Industry Research) study, 39% of attendees spend less than eight hours visiting a show. As with exhibiting, planning and preparation are essential to maximizing time on the trade show floor. The following 30 points will help to simplify the process next time you find yourself playing visitor.

Before the Show:

1. Know what you want to achieve by visiting the show and if the company is sending you, understand what your boss wants you to achieve by attending the show.
   
   
2. Develop a plan of which exhibitors you want to visit and then organize your list into two parts – “must see” and “want to see” companies.
   
   
3. Decide how much time you want to spend at the show and then at each booth. Allow extra time for browsing, distractions, and waiting in lines.
   
   
4. Find out who else from your company is going to the show and develop a plan to maximize your visit, especially at large shows.
   
   
5. Know what information you need to have from each exhibitor. Research different vendors to find out how they differ and what is most important to you. Then plan intelligent questions to ask them.
   
   
6. Design a lead gathering form to research for specific products/services to make accurate comparisons.
   
   
7. Make appointments with exhibitors you really want to meet with.
   
   
8. Get map of where exhibitors are located and prioritize your route.
   
   
9. Take plenty of business cards to avoid filling out forms.
   
   
10. Pack comfortable shoes and clothing to wear on the show floor. Walking shows is extremely tiring. Try insoles for extra comfort. Remember to leave room for things to bring back.
    
    
11. Take a light and comfortable “carry-all” for accumulated materials. Plastic bags are often uncomfortable as they cut into your hands.
    
    
12. Make travel and hotel reservations early to maximize on discounted rates.
    
    
13. Stay at a hotel closest to the convention site to save on traveling and to give you a place to rest, sort through information gathered, and refocus your energy.
    
    
14. Plan the seminars/workshops you want to attend. Split sessions with your colleagues to maximize data gathering.
    
    
15. Pre-register for the event and arrive 30 minutes before opening to avoid standing in long lines.
    
    At the Show:
    
    
16. Revise your plan at the show. The show directory and schedule often changes several times before a show.
    
    
17. Collect information that is of interest to you or that might interest others in your company. Request literature and samples be mailed instead of having to carry them with you.
    
    
18. Obtain a map of the city and know how to get to the convention center.
    
    
19. Tell exhibitors you are on a tight time schedule to avoid casual chatter and get straight down to business.
    
    
20. Look for networking opportunities. Network with industry leaders. Get invited to exhibitors hospitality suites/receptions. At workshops, introduce yourself to people around you – hand out/collect business cards. Hook up with new contacts at meal times for added information.
    
    
21. Skip overly crowded booths and plan to come at the end of the day when traffic is slower.
    
    
22. Check coats and bags so you don’t have to drag them around with you.
    
    
23. Carry a pad and pen to jot down important notes, or have a small tape recorder for note taking.
    
    
24. Take a break after a few hours to refresh and get some fresh air. Air in convention halls is dry, stale, and draining. Drink water regularly instead of pop/beer to avoid dehydration.
    
    
25. Write a trip report as you go along and summarize your notes every evening.
    
    
26. Be prepared to push for answers to questions exhibitors are not prepared to answer.
    
    
27. Avoid conversations with vendors you have no interest in.
    
    
28. Leave the show about 30 minutes before closing to avoid long lines for busses and cabs.
    
    After the Show:
    
    
29. Plan how you are going to implement information gathered.
    
    
30. Be prepared to follow-up after the show for literature and sample requests.
    

Susan A. Friedmann, CSP, is The Tradeshow Coach, Lake Placid, NY, working with exhibitors and show organizers to improve their tradeshow success through coaching, consulting and training. For a free copy of ExhibitSmart Tips of the Week, e-mail: susan@thetradeshowcoach.com; or visit her Web site: www.thetradeshowcoach.com.

Published in Networking Today, September 2004.

Seven Reasons to Say "NO" to New Business

By Debbie Bermont

If your company is dependent on larger sales from fewer customers, then you could put yourself at financial risk by taking on the wrong customer.

One of the most common mistakes business owners make is to accept money from anyone who is willing to pay for their product or service – even if the customer is not the ideal fit for their business. Whether you’re a startup or a large corporation, taking on a new customer who doesn’t match your ideal customer profile can be a big mistake.

Here are seven situations that indicate you should say no to new business. If you don’t heed this advice on when you should turn down new business you will be in serious danger of having a database of customers that can take your business into bankruptcy.

#1: Your gut instinct says no.

This reason is at the top of the list. Your gut instinct or intuition is the most powerful weapon you own that is always correct…even if it isn’t always a logical thought. You should never ignore a nagging feeling something isn’t right. When you hear that little voice inside telling you to turn away the new business you should follow it or you could regret your decision later.

Here’s a common scenario that raises the gut instinct red flag. You’re sitting in a new business meeting and everything on the surface seems to be going well but you can’t ignore a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You can’t put your finger on it but you know something just isn’t right and you feel you’re not seeing the whole truth. Then your head gets in the way. Your rational voice talks you out of those feelings and instead you dismiss your instincts as ridiculous so you take on the new customer. Ultimately that customer doesn’t pay their bills or makes unreasonable demands, which take away any profits you could make on the deal. You then realize you should have listened to your original gut instinct.

Sometimes there doesn’t have to be a logical explanation why you don’t trust the situation. Just remember that if you get that inner message don’t let financial greed talk you out of your first impression. Whether you’re a business owner, a sales professional, or a corporate executive your gut instinct is the best resource you have. Listen to it at all times.

#2: The customer does not appreciate the value of what you offer.

While some people make decisions based upon price, the most profitable business for your company will be from customers who appreciate the value of what you offer. Value could include your expertise, credibility, service, knowledge, reliability, and guarantee.

Anybody who selects your company based on price alone views you as a commodity, not a valued service. A disloyal customer who is more concerned with price rather than value will switch very readily to any competitor who will undercut your price. Your chances are greatly diminished for repeat business from a customer who doesn’t appreciate the value of your products or services.

#3: The customer expects you to invest time and resources into pursuing their business without any financial commitment on their end.

Anyone who is just shopping around and is looking for free advice is not going to be a good customer. You should determine how much time and energy you are willing to spend for free before you ask the prospect to make a commitment.

Giving away products or services for free before the prospect makes any financial commitment diminishes the value of your company. It also raises the level of what they expect you to deliver beyond what you would normally offer for a specific price because they have already received something from you for free.

#4: The customer does not treat you in a courteous or professional manner.

Profitable business is based on strong relationships between you and your customer. This doesn’t mean your customer has to be your best friend, but in essence your best customers will be those who respect and value your professionalism. Anybody who constantly questions your recommendations, nit-picks at your pricing, or questions your credibility or judgment is not interested in developing a long term relationship with your business. There is no opportunity for trust here. Your business is being viewed as a commodity and the customer is clearly showing he does not value your business or want to establish a long-term relationship.

#5: The customer asks for products or services you don’t provide.

There are times when someone will approach your business for products and services you already provide and will also request additional products or services you don’t already provide. They value your relationship and ask you if you would be willing to venture out into new opportunities. If this new opportunity is a stretch on your capital resources or your existing operational structure, or it is not congruent with the mission of your company, it is best to decline this business.

Before you instantly accept a new challenge and opportunity make sure it will not stretch your resources and develop into more headaches than successes for your company.

#6: The customer’s requests are too large for your operation.

If a company approaches you to provide something that stretches beyond your current capabilities to produce, consider the cost to expand your operations versus the profit potential. Take into account any new capital expenditures, additional employees, training expenses, material costs, and the opportunity costs of other business lost while you are meeting the needs of this new customer.

Controlled growth for your company is more manageable and typically more profitable than a large increase in business within a short time frame if you are not currently set up to manage that quick growth.

#7: The customer does not share the same values as you.

The right customer for you is someone who shares your values. It will be very apparent by the manner in which the customer treats you if you share common values.

Don’t lose sight of your company’s mission and values even if it means turning down potential business. When you compromise your values to pick up new business it will not result in profitable business for your company in the long run.

Debbie Bermont is president of Source Communications, a marketing consulting firm. Debbie is a leading expert on helping businesses reduce their marketing costs and accelerating their sales growth. For more information go to www.outrageousbusinessgrowth.com or call (619) 291-6951.

Published in Networking Today, September 2004.

Whose Business Are We In?

By Janet Christensen

At some point, each of us encounters situations where you want to jump in and fix something in another person’s life, perhaps a family member, friend, or co-worker. It may be a personal situation, a work problem, a financial situation, a conflict – the opportunities to jump in and “fix it” are vast and diverse. And our desire to help out comes from a very sincere, caring motive – most of the time. Sometimes our motive can be frustration or anger when we see “same stuff, different day,” and when we are tired of hearing the same story or complaint over and over again. Then we just want to wrestle control and show the other person how it could be so much better, and so easily, too!

I have one particular relationship in my life with someone who just doesn’t seem quite able to get their act together, at least in my estimation. Recently, a series of events and choices that we had each made resulted in an issue that I needed to address. This afforded me the opportunity to let this person know what they were doing “wrong,” what they could do to fix it, and a few other things at the same time. To my surprise, this erupted into a huge argument and misunderstanding. Some very hurtful things were said and I was shocked that my well meant attempt to help had resulted in an attack on me. The other person chose “the best defense is offense” reaction.

This person is someone who I love and care about very much and I know she is capable of much more than she gives herself credit for being able to achieve. I had been operating under the assumption that by telling her where she were going wrong and how she could fix it, I was showing her the way to improve her life. During the next few days following our altercation, I had time to think about my part in what had happened. This was a humbling, enlightening, and ultimately, a freeing experience.

When I stood back and looked from the other person’s perspective it became clear that the message I was sending was far different from what I thought it was. The message I thought I was sending was “I believe in you and you can do anything you set your mind to do.” I was really saying “You are not good enough where you are. You need to be fixed, and I don’t think you can do this by yourself.” Quite a difference!

The next time that we spoke, I apologized for trying to “fix” this person and her life – for making the business of her life my business, without being invited to do so. I explained that I had acted out of love and concern; however I realized that my words and actions were hurting and not helping. I was trying to force her to somewhere where she was not ready to go, and perhaps does not want to be.

I made a commitment to be there to love and support her as she is now, and when she decides to move forward. This does not mean that I will condone staying stuck in the “same stuff, different day“ syndrome. Rather, I will ask “What do you plan to do about it and how can I support you in that?” That is very different from jumping in to assess and report what is wrong and prescribe the appropriate action to fix it. Instead, by asking the question, I trust her to find her own answers and solutions and I offer my support to help her do that.

Our new challenge is to figure out the new dynamic to our relationship. As I let go of her business, our roles change; I am no longer the Ms Fixit, and she gets to be CEO of her life. This has been freeing for both of us. She no longer feels the need to meet my expectations of her, and I have more time to spend on the business of my life.

The next time you are tempted to jump in and “fix,” ask yourself “whose business is this?” Unless you are invited to do help out, your well meaning assistance may not be the best help you can give.

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, September 2004.

Turn Off the TV If You Want More Time

By Barbara Bartlein

Looking for more time? Glance no further than the TV. The latest research on television viewing demonstrates that the average American watches 1,669 hours of the tube each year. That is about 70 days per year according to the Statistical Abstract of the United States.

That’s right, ten weeks per year; watching television. The study does not include all the hours the TV is simply in the background adding to the noise pollution. It’s direct viewing time. Mind numbing time watching re-runs, reality TV, and commercials.

This is time you never get back. These are hours that could be used to learn something new, be with your kids, exercise and weight train, give back to community, or read a book. For that matter, you could write a book. It is hours for tennis, golf, travel, hobbies, and sports. Or here’s an idea, time to do something that makes you money. I never receive cheques from the television stations for watching re-runs of MASH or Seinfeld. In fact, I rarely even remember the next day anything I watched the night before.

TV has a hypnotic effect on people. A passive activity, it doesn’t require any interaction or much thinking. It makes folks feel lethargic, lazy, and dull. I can’t prove it, but I think TV dumbs me down. When I watch more than an hour or so of TV, I lose my momentum and drive. I don’t feel like starting projects or working on anything that takes too much effort. All I feel like doing is watching more TV and maybe opening up a bag of chips, preferably with some dip to go with it.

Is watching TV all bad? Of course not. It provides entertainment and a diversion. It can be an excellent way to relax a bit after a busy day. But we aren’t reaching ten weeks per year with just a little viewing. The TV habit can interfere with living a life. So how do you wean off the tube?

• Log the habit. How do you stack up against the national averages? Only one way to really know and that is to write down your TV time for one week. Is there a pattern? You may find that you are watching a lot more than you realized.
  
  
• Start with a “no-TV” night one or two nights per week. No TV, zip, zilch. Go for a walk, bring out some games to play with the kids, or read a book. At first, you may see a family of “zombies” as they wander aimlessly unplugged from one activity to another. But you will be amazed how quickly everyone adjusts to other activities.
  
  
• Take a class. Any class. It can be one that gives you additional skills to advance your career, or one that broadens your interests. A literature review, a foreign language or simply relaxing making pottery will do more for you than watching folks with minimal talent compete on American Idol.
  
  
• Organize a project. This can be with other family members or by yourself. It can include cooking, baking, household chores, working outside, building something, painting, crafts, quilting, etc. Think about the best days you have. Chances are good that they are days you were able to complete your “to do” list.
  
  
• Identify a replacement goal. What do you plan to do with all your “new” time? This is a great opportunity to focus on something you have been “meaning” to do but never had the time to accomplish. It could be that garden or reading the classics. You may try that sailing class you have talked about for the last ten years.
  

Time is the most important non-renewable resource we have. Don’t lose a fifth of your life doing nothing.

Sign up for Barbara's FREE email newsletter at www.barbbartlein.com.

Barbara Bartlein is the PeoplePro™. She helps businesses sell more goods and services by developing people. She can be reached at 888-747-9953, by email at: barb@barbbartlein.com or visit her Web site at www.ThePeoplePro.com. Published in Networking Today, September 2004.

Strategies for Handling Irate Callers

By Nancy Friedman

If your job entails taking calls from unhappy, irate callers, you've got your work cut out for you. Many of us are vulnerable to outbursts from customers who are already going through an emotional, stressful time.

Handling these calls takes time and training, but it can be accomplished effectively. Here are some service recovery techniques for turning unhappy callers into satisfied customers.

Understand the Source of the Anger

Realize that angry customers are not unhappy with you, just the situation. Don't take a caller's hostility personally. You are the lightning rod, not the target.

You can do a great deal to diffuse a caller's anger before you even pick up the phone. How? By smiling before you answer that call. A smile can really be "heard" over the phone. It's difficult to be rude to someone who's warm and friendly.

Use the ASAP Technique
Here is the Telephone Doctor® ASAP technique for handling irate customers:

Acknowledge the person's feelings and apologize for the inconvenience the customer has encountered. Make an effort to be sincere. In today's impersonal society, it's incredibly rare to hear the words "I'm sorry that happened. Let me get the ball rolling to fix it." You'll probably spend about 80 percent of your time massaging the caller's feelings and 20 percent actually solving the problem.

Sympathize and empathize with the caller. Phrases like, "I can understand why you're upset," help soothe ruffled feathers. Pretend it is you calling. Then get busy solving the problem.

Accept 100 percent responsibility for the call. This is probably the toughest part. Chances are you had nothing to do with the problem. However, it is your job to accept responsibility and initiate work on a solution.

Prepare to help. Begin by reintroducing yourself – callers don't usually remember your name. State that you will be able to help. Use the caller's name, if possible, which helps diffuse the anger. A willing attitude is essential because if the caller senses insincerity or indifference, he will stay angry. It's exasperating to file a complaint with someone who obviously doesn't care.

No Excuses
Never make an excuse to a complaining caller. No one wants to hear, "The computer is down," or "I'm the only one here." That is your problem, not the caller's. When you give an excuse, the caller hears, "I'm not going to help you now."

Escalating a Call
Sometimes you are not able to solve the problem on the spot. Many times you need more information from another department. Perhaps the call needs to be handled by another person. Although these are legitimate courses of action, they usually upset your caller again.

If you need more information, explain that to your caller. Ask him if he is able to hold while you obtain it, or if he would prefer a call back. Avoid untrue phrases like, "Hold on a sec." Nothing takes a second.

If you need to transfer a caller, let him know the name of the person he'll be speaking with. Give a reason why you are bringing in a third party. "Joe, Mrs. Smith in our claims department is the real expert in resolving your type of problem. Let me transfer you directly to her."

Swear Stopper Technique
Unfortunately, there are callers who are firmly convinced that abusive language is their only recourse. Try the Telephone Doctor® "swear stopper" technique. Say to the caller in a firm, but pleasant voice, "Excuse me, I can handle your problem, that's no problem, but I'm not able to handle your abusive language."

By using this wording, you are taking control of the conversation. Then immediately start asking questions that will help solve the problem. This helps you stay in control of the conversation.

Try using these techniques and see how quickly you start handling complaint calls more effectively. Then see how good you feel about yourself – you'll be doing your job better than ever before!

Nancy Friedman is a KEYNOTE speaker at chamber & association conferences and corporate gatherings. Call (314) 291-1012 for more information or visit the Telephone Doctor Web site at www.TelephoneDocotor.com

Published in Networking Today, September 2003.