Unleashed! Expecting Greatness and Other Secrets

By Gregg Thompson with Susanne Biro

Management futurists are fond of predicting a “War for Talent.” They foresee a time in the near future when organizations will be battling for their very survival in the arena of top performers. I agree. Organizations will increasingly face debilitating shortages of talent; however, I also believe that this war can be fought and won primarily within the organization itself. Look around your organization right now – in the cubicles and down the hallways, in meeting rooms and labs, on the factory floor – any place where people work you will find enormous, untapped potential waiting to be developed, waiting to be unleashed! This is the job of the Leader Coach. This is your job.

Coaching has received a great deal of attention over the last several years. As today’s fastest growing human development process, it is quickly becoming an essential competency for leaders at every organizational level. Why? Quite simply, because coaching produces impressive results. Yet, despite the growing popularity of coaching, there are precious few managers who actually make it a significant part of their day-to-day activities. In fact, many organization leaders are unable to distinguish true coaching from ordinary conversations. As a result, they find themselves ill-equipped to do what is now being asked. It’s not that they lack the requisite interpersonal and leadership capabilities. It’s simply that high performance coaching demands more than relating well to others and providing constructive feedback.

However, we can all recognize great coaching because it is likely that, without giving it a name, we have each been the recipient of it at some point in our careers. Consider for a moment your own career successes. Who were those few special people instrumental in you becoming the person you are today? Perhaps your mother, your high school math teacher, or your first boss comes to mind. Regardless of their formal title, these people were your coaches. As you reflect upon these unique and rare individuals, can you identify what it was that earned them the title of coach in your life? I have asked this question of hundreds of senior managers and I routinely hear the following in response. My best coach:

• Was honest and straight-forward (Authenticity)
  
  
• Was fully aware of and confident in his/her unique gifts and talents (Self-esteem)
  
  
• Had a genuine interest in me and my success (Noble Intention)
  
  

When I ask these managers what their coaches did to help them reach significantly higher levels of performance, I usually hear at least one of the following responses:

• They expressed a belief in my gifts, talents and potential (Appreciation)
  
  
• They challenged me to find or create opportunities to more significantly deploy my gifts and talents (Confrontation)
  
  
• They expected great things from me and held me responsible for living up to my own highest standards (Accountability)

The two things I never hear? Gave me advice or told me their war stories. Incidentally, these are the two things we most often do and label as “coaching” in organizations. Coaching is not simply giving that great piece of advice or telling another how we did it. It is a way of interacting with others that sees them at their very best; confronts them with all their gifts, talent and potential; and then holds them accountable to becoming the very best version of themselves.

The truth is we all already know what great coaching is; we know it because we have at one time been the recipient of it (or at the very least we have experienced its opposite and so know first hand what is ineffective). Managers do not need to learn coaching skills as much as they need to be more intentional about being the kind of person their own best coaches were in their own lives, and discipline themselves to be that person more frequently in the lives of others.

There is a war for talent, and as the baby boomers increasingly leave our organizations, the need for qualified leaders who can attract and develop talent will continue to grow significantly. It is a war that will be fought and won by those unique and special individuals who can coach others to their highest level of performance. It is a war can only be won by you, the Leader Coach.

Consider This:
Think for a moment about your staff, co-workers, boss, and customers. Think about your interactions with them, about your influence on them, and the impact you have on their working lives.

• In what ways are you important to them?
• Do they perform better because of their relationship with you?
• Would others call you a coach?
• Do the people with whom you work believe that you have their best interests at heart?
• Would others attribute their career success to you?

Gregg Thompson is the President of Bluepoint Leadership Development. He can be reached at greggthompson@bluepointleadership.com or 513.289.0141. Susanne Biro is the Director of Leadership Coaching at Bluepoint Leadership Development. She can be reached at susannebiro@bluepointleadership.com or 604.983.2923. You can order a copy of Unleashed! at www.unleashedthecoachingbook.com.

Published in Networking Today, November 2007

Dangerous Conversations Coaching for Exceptional Performance

By Gregg Thompson with Susanne Biro

How often do you engage in the kind of conversation that stimulates others to change their performance? First, reflect on the following: How many conversations do you have during an average day? 30, 50, 100? How many of these simply function as social lubricants, helping you slide through the day without having to address the real and important issues you face? How many of these conversations really matter?

Now, reflect on the significant conversations you had over the last week. Consider the following:

• At the end of the conversation did you feel complete?
• Did you say everything that needed to be said?
• Did you feel good about the interaction?

If so, notice why. If not, consider what was missing. Notice if there was something else you wish you had said or done. Did you feel that you held back in the conversation? Did you find yourself later having the conversation you wish you had had with another co-worker, friend, or perhaps your spouse? Maybe you just have the conversation with yourself. If so, you are not alone. These are very typical reactions when we avoid the important conversation.

Leaders at all organizational levels are being asked to be more coach-like with their team members, colleagues, and even their customers. Unfortunately, many who lead organizations find themselves ill-equipped to provide such coaching. It’s not that we lack the requisite interpersonal and leadership competencies, but that coaching requires more. Coaching challenges us to engage in a different kind of conversation; one that confronts real topics of performance discrepancies, aspirations, values, disappointments, and passions – topics that are often uncertain, uncomfortable, and emotionally charged. We call these Dangerous Conversations. Not dangerous because someone will be hurt (quite the contrary), but dangerous because they always explore new, uncharted territory with all the accompanying risks that range from defensiveness to vulnerability, from anger to euphoria. Coaching requires us to engage in the Dangerous Conversation. It is dangerous because it confronts questions that need to be asked: ·

• Are you doing your very best work right now? ·
• How are you getting in your own way? ·
• What would happen if you really took your foot off the brake?

It is dangerous because it raises issues that are uncomfortable for even the most experienced managers: “You are better than this,” “this sounds like an old, tired story,” and “I think you are afraid to try.”

Walk Away Empty
When we engage in a dangerous conversation we walk away empty; everything that needed to be said was said directly and honestly to the person who needed to hear it. We know immediately when we have done this because we feel a release. The burden we carried is transformed into a wonderful gift for another. Even if the message is difficult for the other person to hear, if it is delivered with the other person interests at heart, we can take comfort in knowing our work is done. We did not hold back in our communication; we respected the other person enough to tell him the truth. We cared enough about his success to take the risk and to be uncomfortable for his benefit.

We also know immediately when we haven’t given everything to a conversation. We held back, not wanting to hurt, challenge, or affirm the other person, arrogantly believing that our words would be too much for him to handle. We lacked the courage to share our unvarnished perspective. As a result, we leave the interaction feeling unsettled, still filled with our real concerns and all the thoughts we censored, left to ruminate on them indefinitely. Sometimes we seek out a third party with whom to finally speak our truth; the conversation that we didn’t have the courage to share more directly. Communication experts call this process “triangulation,” but to most of us, it is simply gossip.

Are you a Leader Coach? Are you known to be able to have the Dangerous Conversation? Would others call you a coach? Try This
Think of someone you have complained about recently. Also, think about someone whom you believe is very talented but underachieving. Then ask yourself, “What is the dangerous conversation I need to have with these people?” Make a promise to have those conversations today. After the conversation, notice how you feel. Do you feel empty? Did you say everything you needed to say to the person at that time? If you felt you held back, notice what you held back and why. Develop the habit of having Dangerous Conversations every day. Gregg Thompson is the President of Bluepoint Leadership Development. He can be reached at greggthompson@bluepointleadership.com or 513.289.0141. Susanne Biro is the Director of Leadership Coaching at Bluepoint Leadership Development. She can be reached at susannebiro@bluepointleadership.com or 604.983.2923. You can order a copy of Unleashed! at www.unleashedthecoachingbook.com.

Published in Networking Today, October 2007