Planning for a Successful Retirement

by Janet Christensen

Your successful retirement is as unique as you are. There is no one size fits all formula to guarantee retirement success. It comes from doing what brings you meaning and fulfillment.

People are living longer; in the last 90 years, the average life expectancy has increased over 30 years. People are retiring earlier; the average age of first retirement in North America is 58. I say first retirement because many people go on to do other things.

The effects of these trends are just becoming known. People are viewing life and life stages in new ways. It is likely that you will be in retirement longer than any other adult career developmental phase. Retirement may not signal the end of your career, and may instead begin another stage of your career.

The old retirement paradigm meant you retired when you couldn't work any longer or when you reached a specified age (usually 65). In 1883, Otto Von Bismark originated the concept of old age pension and retiring at age 65. He wanted to show the other European countries how progressive the new Germany was by initiating an old age pension plan without breaking the bank in the process. His actuaries advised him that only 1.5% of the population reached age 65 in 1883, so age 65 became the affordable pension age. Using the same criteria today, 1.5% of the population reaches the age of 86. In 1883, 65 was old; now, 65 is middle age.

You may focus on retirement preparation through financial planning. This is only one aspect of retirement success. It also requires emotional, behavioural, psychological, attitudinal, and relationship preparation.

There are 15 factors to consider while planning a successful retirement, including:

• work reorientation

• attitude toward retirement

• life meaning; adaptability

• replacement of work functions

• family and personal relationships

When you do this introspective work and plan for retirement, you do well. When you do not do this work, you likely will not adjust well.

Your work provides structure with regular hours and routine. When you retire some of the structure is taken away, which can be stressful. You may move from a defined, full time worker into another definition of yourself. You may also feel an ambiguity about what retirement looks like and wonder what you are really supposed to be doing?

You plan financially and invest in RRSP's years ahead of retiring. It is important to plan ahead in all areas of your life for retirement. You may think that preparing for retirement while still working may adversely affect your motivation, productivity, and effectiveness at work. However, exactly the opposite happens. Just as saving for retirement through RRSP's is motivating, comprehensive planning creates a happier, healthier, more optimistic you (and therefore more productive and motivated on the job). Bottom line: it is never too early to start planning for and designing your successful retirement.

Today, retirees are generally healthy, bright, well traveled, Internet savvy, and ready to start a new life adventure. They are full of vitality, desire, enthusiasm, and seeking retirement with meaning and fulfillment.

What is your dream? What is your passion? Planning wisely in all areas of your life will bring meaning and fulfillment to this wonderful stage of your life.

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Janet Christensen, President of Dynamic Awareness Inc., is a coach, facilitator and speaker with a specialty in retirement coaching, using the Life Options® and Retirement Success Profile® tools to help you discover, plan and live your retirement dream – from the inside out.

Published in Networking Today, May 2007.

The Power of Choice

By Janet Christensen

I frequently encounter people who are on a quest to figure out their purpose in life. On a fundamental level, your purpose in life is to breathe and everything else is a choice. Once you acknowledge that, you can begin to fully appreciate the power of choice.

Sometimes you may think that you have no choices but in reality, this is not so. Even in dire situations you have a choice. It could be to act, or not to act, which are both choices. You may not always like your choices or options, and the best one may be a “no-brainer,” however, you always have choices.

You choose your values, thoughts, actions, attitudes, words, friends, who you associate with, how you spend your time. Even the things you may think are obligations in life are choices, such as getting up in the morning, feeding your children, going to work, paying your rent, stopping at a stop sign. These may seem obvious, yet they are not givens – they are all choices. They are based on the values you hold and the norms that society dictates. You make choices day-by-day and minute-by-minute, perhaps by default and on autopilot…not being fully aware that they are choices. How many times to do you say “I have got to do this or that?” While you may feel a sense of duty or obligation, these things are still choices.

If you find yourself weighed down by the “shoulds” and obligations in life, consider changing your wording. Instead of thinking and/or saying “I've got to do this,” say “I choose to do this,” which has a completely different energy to it. Sometimes you may find it difficult to choose because choosing means giving something up. This can paralyze you into not making a decision, not wanting to choose. You second guess yourself with doubt: “What if I make the wrong choice? What if I make the wrong decision?”

Consider approaching decision-making differently by seeing your options as a choice of Box A, Box B, or Box C each with its opportunities and experiences. Make the best decision with the information you have and commit. Don't second guess yourself and miss the opportunities and gifts that are in the box you choose by wondering what you may be missing by not choosing one of the other boxes.

Remember, every situation or circumstance is a learning opportunity, an opportunity to practice your values and this is where you find the gift. Choose to find the gift where you are, instead of focusing on what you might be missing by not being somewhere else. Life is all about choice.

You choose how to think, how to act, your attitudes, and your feelings. You choose your goals and then you choose whether or not to commit to those goals. And then, once you have committed, you make choices every day that move you closer or away from what you want to create.

Every situation, challenge, opportunity, and decision presents you with choice. Sometimes those choices seem obvious and easy; sometimes they seem confusing and difficult. Whatever choice you make has consequences and either adds to your personal power or diminishes your personal power. So, make your choices consciously.

This can seem like a daunting task, especially when a great deal depends on the choices you make. Here are three questions I invite you to ask yourself when you are faced with making a choice. Asking yourself these three questions will support you in creating what you want in your life.

1. How will I feel about myself when I have made this choice?
2. Will this choice enhance my relationship with myself?
   
3. Will I be walking my talk if I make this choice?
   

Whether the choice is a big or small, it is the consequences that count. Your “little” choices have a significant and cumulative impact over time. The power of a choice is whether or not it contributes to what you want to create, or whether it moves you away from that.

When you are clear on who you are, what you stand for, and what you want to create in your life, your choices become clearer. You have the power to make your dreams and goals become your reality by the choices you make. Choose wisely. Choose powerfully.

Janet Christensen’s passion is to empower people to live their full potential. Through her company, Dynamic Awareness Inc., she provides personal coaching, experiential workshops, inspirational speaking, and is a Reiki practitioner. To contact Janet, phone: (519) 434-5397 fax: (519) 434-8344 or email janet@dynamicawareness.com www.janetchristensen.com

Published in Networking Today, February 2007.

How to Create an Effective Networking Presentation

By Janet Christensen

Networking effectively can significantly increase your business profile and lead to greater profitability and success. It is one thing to talk about your business one-on-one with people, however, when the opportunity arises to do a presentation to a group, many business professionals are reluctant to accept the opportunity, or when they do, find creating and delivering a presentation very stressful. After all, you are an expert in your field, yet not likely a professional speaker. You do not want to turn the golden opportunity to profile your business into a missed opportunity, or worse, create a poor impression.

The following outline provides a format for creating an effective 15 to 20 minute networking presentation, which can be customized to profile your business in the most appropriate and dynamic manner. It will help you to plan what to say and what to leave out, organize your information, and deliver it with confidence. Also included are some presentation tips because it's not just what you say, it's how you say it that makes the difference between “okay” and “great.”

The purpose of your presentation is to give an overview of your business, products, and/or services so that people know what it is you do. Then, when they, or someone they know, needs what it is you offer, they will contact you or refer you. (The purpose is not to give your life history, the entire history of your company, or to put them to sleep.)

Introduction: (2 minutes) You want to get the audience's attention right away so open with something different, interesting, and lively.

• Do you have a product you can demonstrate?
• Do you have a success story you can share?
• Is there something unique to your business/product/service that you can open with?
• Are there interesting/attention grabbing statistics that you can use that relate to your business?
• Are there questions you can ask that create interest about what it is you do/provide? For example, what brings your customers to your service or what problems do you solve for your customers?
• Is there an exercise you can take the audience through to create interest in what you do?
  

Once you have their attention, then introduce yourself and your company, products, and/or services. Keep it brief. If you have a tag line, use it here as a lead in to the main part of the presentation.

Presentation: (7 to 9 minutes) If you can give an example or sample of what it is you do, by all means do it. If you can pass on useful tidbits of information, do that. By doing this, you are becoming the expert in their minds.

1. An overview of what it is you do, your product line, and/or your service. How long in business?
2. Credentials/qualifications of you and your company.
3. Hours of operation. Geographic area you service.
4. Who is your typical/ideal customer? What is your market niche?
5. What are the features of your business/product/service? Do not spend a long time on this. Just list them.
6. What are the benefits to your customers? Spend more time on this and fully outline the benefits.
7. What makes you stand apart? Why should someone deal with you and instead of your competition? (Do not slam the competition here – focus on what you do.)
8. Outline any special offers, if any, that you are offering the group for attending.
   

Conclusion: (2 to 4 minutes)

• Summarize your products/services.
• Who is your ideal customer or referrer? Who needs you and what you do?
  
• Call to action on your special offers. Closing Statement – Use your tag line.
  

Questions and Answers (approx. 3 minutes) If no one has any questions, it means you did a great job in explaining what it is you do. Thank the group for their time and attention then sit down and relax.

Presentation Tips

• The key to a good presentation is to know what it is you are going to say and to practice a few times beforehand. Get a supportive person who you trust to listen while you go through the presentation and get constructive feedback. Failing that, practice in front of a mirror. You can even tape your presentation and listen to it.
  
  
• Smile. Take a deep breath and relax. Work on the basis that everyone there is interested in what you have to say and they are supportive. They are not out to get you.
  
  
• Be aware of your body language. Stand tall with open body posture. Be animated. Do not slouch, swing from side to side, pace back and forth across the floor, fidget, or stand with your arms crossed.
  
  
• Be aware of your voice and speech. Vary your volume, the rate of speech, and tone. Pause for effect and emphasis at appropriate times. · Interact with the audience if it is appropriate to do so. For example, you can ask questions, get input or feedback. (E.g., Has anyone ever encountered this problem before? What is your concern when you shop/look for...? )
  
  
• Be energetic and enthusiastic. If you aren't excited about what it is you do, no one else will be.
  
  
• Use humour and/or a joke if you can carry it off and as long as it is tasteful.
  
  
• Use a PowerPoint or overhead presentation to keep you focused and on track if it is helpful. If you are using one of these, practice ahead so that you are comfortable and confident in using these tools. It is distracting when the presenter fumbles around with gadgets or technology and it makes you more nervous. Also, have a backup plan in case the equipment fails. Be able to go on without technology.
  
  
• If you are using PowerPoint or overheads, include key points only. Do not have your entire presentation, word for word, on the screen and then read it. The audience can read. You know your stuff. Allow the key points to guide you and elaborate on them. You are having a conversation with the audience.
  
  
• If you have samples, photos, visual aids, etc. they will enhance the presentation and take some pressure off you to carry it all. Let these do some of the demonstrating and speaking for you.
  
  
• Have handouts that are pertinent and make sure you have your contact information on them.
  
  
• People love freebies, as long as they are useful. Whatever it is you give away, make sure it has your name, logo, and contact information on it. If you do not have a suitable free sample to give away, is there something you can use to make you memorable? Be creative.
  
  
• Have fun!
  

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com.

Published in Networking Today, February 2006.

Your Greatness is at the End of Your Comfort Zone

By Janet Christensen

A couple of months ago I started working with a personal trainer at the YMCA. I took this bold step for a few reasons:

• I have arthritis in my knees and to avoid injections of foreign substances and surgery I thought I would try exercise, even though I thought it might be just as painful.
• I wanted to feel more energetic and increase my fitness level.
• I wanted to get rid of my “flabdominals.”
• I was spending money on a Y membership yet was having trouble making time to get there.
  
• I know that being accountable to someone else will motivate me to do it – make the appointment and I will show up.
• I decided to try to the “burn more calories than what you take in” approach to weight loss.
  

When I completed the application form for personal training I listed my preference for a woman trainer, thinking that a woman would relate more readily to a mid-fifties woman and my obvious limitations to becoming lean and fit. I knew very well my list of reasons why I could maybe only get a little fitter and toned – I was too old to really take this seriously, after all, I'm a grandma, my body is showing signs of age with arthritis, and I am “getting up there.” I was not going to expect miracles; it was much smarter to limit my expectations.

The first challenge to my expected outcome was the call from Russ Hicks, a mid-20's personal trainer and registered massage therapist who called me from the Y. Where did my mature woman trainer that I had imagined go? I went along and met with Russ, fully intending to politely assert my need for a “woman.” However, Russ' enthusiasm and qualifications as both a trainer and RMT impressed me and I committed to twenty sessions with him.

Two months have passed and I have surpassed many of my perceived limitations. Russ has cleverly figured out that I can be competitive at times and he has used this to challenge me to exceed what his other clients can do – even the younger ones! He started me off slowly, building up my confidence, endurance, strength, and abilities. In just a few weeks, I find myself amazed at what I can achieve and how energized I feel. Russ believed in my abilities and what I could do before I did. He encourages me and sets the bar a little higher every time. If someone had told me when I started out that I would be doing three sets of one hundred and twenty abdominal exercises alternating with twenty-five push ups as the start of my workout, I would have told them “no way!” yet I am doing just that.

I joke with Russ that he must stay awake at night thinking of new ways to torture me, and I say that I am going for my appointment with “Attila the Hun” to my family. Joking aside, if had a trainer who would be willing to settle for my limitations, I would be shortchanged. It has not escaped me that I was also deluding myself to think a woman trainer would buy into my theory in the first place.

Not only have I benefited from becoming more fit, flexible, and energized, I have learned a valuable lesson about the dangers of limiting thinking. I was willing to settle for far less than I was capable of because I placed limits on myself and did not want to move out of my comfort zone. Now my idea of what I can achieve has expanded and I realize that my greatness is at the end of my comfort zone – not just in my physical fitness, yet in all areas of my life.

So now instead of limiting myself because of my age, I will venture forth saying “I'm fifty-something, fit, fabulous, and flirting with the edge of my comfort zone.” Your greatness is at the end of your comfort zone!

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, July 2005.

Getting…and Staying Connected

By Janet Christensen

In today's fast-paced world of business and personal life we have a number of ways in which we can choose to get and stay connected with each other.

Through the wonders of technology, we can connect across the globe instantaneously through satellite, email, telephone and cell phones. We can precisely know the location of a person or vehicle anywhere in the world with the aid of a GPS system. We have PC's, laptops, Blackberries, palm pilots, and other electronic devices that allow us to connect, schedule, read email remotely, and be as up-to-date as possible. For a while, I was concerned that there was a significant increase in the number of people walking down the street talking to themselves, then I realized that these people were all talking on cell phones with the hands-free attachment. With so many ways to get and stay connected, 24/7 connectivity is becoming a way of life and an expectation. T

he irony is that with all of the technology that enables us to do things faster and better, rather than give us more time, we now expect ourselves to do more and be reachable and accessible virtually all the time. Instead of having more time, we seem to have less. Instead of feeling more in control, we are feeling more pressured and stressed. We are busy getting and staying connected. We are busy thinking about what is next, what may happen, our list of things to do, making the next appointment, planning the meeting, and on and on.

When you were last in a meeting how many people were really there – not just in body, but really present? Or, were they flipping through notes, checking their email or palm pilot, or just mentally somewhere else?

What about our connectivity with ourselves? Are we making and taking the time to know and be who we are?

We are not our jobs. We are not the labels that get ascribed to us. We are not our roles. We are not our past – that is just the story of our lives so far. Somewhere beneath these various layers of descriptors that come to define who we are, there is a unique essence that is you that is longing for connection. I will call this the essential you.

Several years ago my husband and I benefited from taking some Marriage Encounter courses and I remember one of the core teachings was “God does not make junk.” The essential you is that part of you that is unique, whole, and complete, and has infinite wisdom. It is you in your perfection and it has deep knowing. It longs to be known to you. It is longing for connection.

The essential you is more than your brain and more than your mind. It is your mind, body, and spirit and it has four aspects to its intelligence – mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Young children are very connected to their essential selves. They are spontaneous, very much in the moment and able to respond to and express what they are experiencing. As we grow up and become “socialized,” we are encouraged to develop our mental intelligence and discount the other aspects of our intelligence. As a result, paying attention to gut feelings or instinct can be fluffed off as foolish. Displays of emotion or even feeling emotion may be deemed inappropriate. Our spontaneity gets dampened and we learn to respond to what others expect of us, or what we think is expected of us. We become outwardly very well connected and the connection to the essential you is diminished.

Think about what you were doing when you took your last shower. Were you relaxing and enjoying the feel of the water on your skin, or were you busy being mentally somewhere else? When do you take time to just be, without any agenda, and be fully present with yourself?

I recently attended a sold-out event to hear Jon Kabat-zinn, Ph.D., speak. Jon Kabat-zinn is internationally known for his work as a scientist, writer, and meditation teacher engaged in bringing mindfulness into the mainstream of medicine and society. The 1200 people who packed the Ryerson Theatre in Toronto to hear this man speak came from all walks of life, and many were from the medical profession. By a show of hands, it became apparent that many people in the audience already practice some form of meditation. One thing that we all shared was the longing to connect with ourselves.

Jon Kabat-zinn says that getting connected is really a matter of “awarenessing” and this involves being bigger than your thoughts. It involves being aware of what you are doing, and being present with what you are experiencing. In his words, “The real meditation practice is your life – either you are here for it, or you're not.” It is about living your whole life as if it really matters – living by design and not by default.

You may already be busy saying to yourself “but I don't have time.” Whose life are you spending time living?

Connecting with yourself does not require becoming a recluse or sitting on a mountain top. A few minutes at a time will get you there. And just as there are many roads to Rome, there are many ways to start to connect. There is an abundance and variety of courses, workshops, books, and audio material to sample and discover what fits for you. See what is available and choose one or two to try. Dare I say, follow your gut instinct to choose one to try. And remember that like anything else, it takes practice. Be patient and have fun with it. The joy is in the journey.

This is an invitation to slow down and be where you are. Be aware. Be connected to all of you. Hear all of your wisdom. When you connect to the essential you, you may find your true soul mate, a kindred spirit, and someone you genuinely like and love. Now there's a connection worth making and keeping!

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart .... (he) who looks outside, dreams; (he) who looks inside, awakens.”
Carl Jung

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, May 2005.

Sweating the Small Stuff

By Janet Christensen

Do you sweat the small stuff? Perhaps the more relevant question is “what is the small stuff?”

Every day we are faced with situations, choices, and decisions. How do we know what the long term effects of any decision may be? What seems small now may end up having significant consequences down the road.

The flight of a plane provides a good example of how the seemingly small decisions have huge importance. A plane in flight is constantly faced with wind currents and other factors that cause it to go off course. If the pilot does not adjust the flight path accordingly, being off course by even one degree will mean the plane ends up at a different destination than intended. One degree may not seem like much, however, over time and distance it has a significant impact on where the plane will travel. In fact, a plane is off its direct flight path over ninety percent of the time as the pilot, or autopilot, responds to what is happening around the plane and adjusts to bring it back on course.

A friend recently shared with me how his willingness to overlook some small issues led to some serious outcomes for his business over a period of time. As he was preoccupied with getting his business off the ground, his employee was developing some undesirable work practices and habits that he chose to overlook. Things such as taking work time to promote personal interests, not keeping accurate records of inventory, and keeping “flexible” work hours seemed small and inconsequential at the time. Over time, however, the abuses became more frequent and had greater negative consequences for his business and his relationship with his employee. The willingness to not sweat the small stuff ultimately resulted in some big stuff happening that was costly for the business and for both people.

My friend told me that he realized that by being out of integrity with his values and ignoring the small things, he sent a signal to his employee that the undesirable behaviour was, in fact, acceptable. By choosing to overlook the issues, his employee perceived him to be condoning the practices. He found himself and his business heading in a direction that was far from where he wanted to head and that was out of alignment with his values and ethics.

Not sweating the small stuff means not making mountains out of molehills and not giving people and situations more significance than is appropriate or justified. It means keeping things in perspective. However, it does not mean being out of integrity with your values and ethics. Choosing to set your values and ethics aside in the misguided pretense of not sweating the small stuff sends mixed signals to yourself and to others. Having integrity with your values and ethics means dealing with issues as they arise in a consistent manner. It means making choices and decisions that are based on your values and ethics to keep you on your path. It means you end up where you want, being who you want to be in your life.

It's the everyday decisions that ultimately take us where we go, not the big ones. Pay attention to the small choices and decisions you make every day. Make them with awareness and in alignment with your values and ethics. Then the big decisions will take care of themselves.

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”
Maureen Dowd

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, April 2005.

The Power of Being Right

By Janet Christensen

We all want to be right – whether that means having our views heard and agreed to, winning an argument, or knowing that ours is the noble or just cause. Feeling that we are right gives us a sense of power, and sometimes even a sense of superiority. As the saying goes, right is might.

I am currently witnessing a situation where two people who I care about, and with whom I have a close association, are having a serious disagreement that has continued for several weeks. Each of them thinks that they are right and the other is wrong. The more that they become entrenched in their own perspectives, using their inner voices to reinforce their positions, the more difficult it becomes to resolve the issues. This may be a situation where their relationship will end with a lot of hurt and ill will, however, each of them will know that they were “right.”

My observations of this situation are:

Whether or not they want to admit it, each of them had a part to play in the situation getting to where it is today. They each made choices and decisions that contributed to the current reality. They co-created it. Only when they are able and ready to acknowledge their part in bringing this about, can they accept responsibility for coming to a resolution. As long as they hold fast to the thought that they are right and the other person is wrong – that the other person is solely to blame – they will remain stuck, feeling right…and hurt and angry. As the saying goes, “They would rather be right than happy.”

The only hope for any kind of meaningful and sincere resolution to the issue is if they can step into the other's shoes and be willing to try to see the other perspective. There is always another side to the story. However, the more we think we are not heard or understood, the louder and more insistently we put forward our case. This happens for both people with the result that the gap grows wider and the barriers go up. We are busy saying “I am right – listen to me!” instead of saying “please help me to understand.” In order to bridge the gap, instead of widening it, we need to be willing to hear the other's perspective without being ready to automatically discount it or prove it wrong. Otherwise, what is the point of asking the question? You need to be willing to walk in the other person's shoes.

Every one of us wants to feel heard and understood. You may agree to disagree; however, you can only do that when you see both sides. Otherwise, you are just agreeing to be obstinate and choosing to be right at whatever cost. Once each person has an appreciation of both sides of the situation, there is greater opportunity to see what exists in common that will help bridge the gap and create a resolution, rather than just focusing on the differences.

In reality, it would seem that there is very little power in being right at all costs. However, there is personal empowerment in demonstrating leadership by being willing to say “please help me to understand.”

Next time you are focused on being right, you are invited to choose personal empowerment over power. Step back, take the lead, bridge the gap to understanding, and open up the possibility for resolution.

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, March 2005.

Outside of the Zone

By Janet Christensen

The conversation between me and a trusted colleague about me feeling stuck went like this...

Me: “I am torn between wanting to stay close to home and 'nest' and putting myself out there on a bigger scale.”

C: “What will happen if you stay close to home and 'nest'?”

Me: “I will live to regret it. I will regret missed opportunities.”

C: “What will happen if you put yourself out there on a bigger scale?”

Me: “I will have success.”

C: “What is the difference?”

Me: “Staying home to nest comes from my mind, my limiting beliefs. Putting myself out there comes from my heart.”

C: “What do you need to do?”

Me: “It is a 'no-brainer.' My brain is the source of my limiting beliefs and fears. I need to come from my heart and put myself out there.”

This brief conversation had a huge impact on me.

Notice all of my answers came from within me. My colleague was asking questions, not dispensing advice. In knowing what questions to ask, my colleague was connected to his wisdom. In answering the questions, I connected to my own inner knowing, my own wisdom.

When I said that what I need to do is a “no-brainer,” I meant that in two ways. Not only was the answer obvious – what we would call a “no-brainer”; the solution was to get outside of my mind and its limiting thoughts and beliefs, to not allow brain interference through negative and limiting self-talk.

The little voice inside of me wants to stick with what it knows. It wants me to stay in my comfort zone. It does not want adventure. It does not want unfamiliar and risky things. The prospect of learning, doing, and challenging myself fills it with fear. What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if? What if? What if? I realized that ultimately, my biggest risk would be to stay in my comfort zone. This conversation gave me insight and clarity to allow me to get out of my own way. It gave me freedom and confidence to move outside of, and thus expand, my comfort zone.

It is only through getting outside of our comfort zone that we learn, grow, and mature. That is how a child learns to crawl and walk, and there are bumps and bruises along the way. From infancy on, we are constantly moving outside of our comfort zone to learn to talk, read, ride a bicycle, swim, drive a car, be in relationships, use a computer, start a new job, and on and on. What was once a daunting task, like driving a car, becomes second nature with practice. Do you have to consciously think about the steps involved in making a right hand turn, or are you on auto pilot most of the time when you drive? We are constantly moving outside of our comfort zone, and as we do that, our comfort zone expands with us.

What is your little voice saying to you? Is it encouraging you to stay in your comfort zone? Is it telling you that life would be simpler, safer, and more secure if you stay where you are? Does it say things like “The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know.”?

Think of the times you have dared to move outside of your comfort zone in order to learn, grow, and mature and the successes you have experienced as a result. I invite you to have more “no-brainers” and trust the adventurer within. Take a chance on yourself and spend more time outside of the zone.

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, February 2005.

Taking Stock

By Janet Christensen

Once again we celebrate a new year, and many of us will take some time to reflect on where we are now and what we would like to achieve in the next year and beyond. We push on to our next steps, looking for bigger and better things of and for ourselves. It is important to look ahead, to chart our paths and to develop and grow our talents and abilities. However, in our enthusiasm and drive to move forward we can forget that it is just as important to take time to celebrate, to renew and refresh, and to be kind to ourselves.

As you embark on a new year, I invite you to take some quiet time for yourself and do the following:

Make a list of 25 accomplishments you had in the last year.

Many people react to this suggestion by saying “I'll never be able to list 25 accomplishments!” These do not need to be earth shattering achievements or events; they just need to be meaningful to you. Look at different areas of your life – home, work, health and fitness, financial, recreation, relationships, and spiritual. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Did you buy a new home, redecorate, reorganize, or remove clutter at home?
  
  
• What achievements did you have at work? Did you start a new job? Did you leave a job you disliked? Did you change careers? Did you take courses or undertake other professional development?
  
  
• How did you look after yourself in 2004? Did you do anything to improve your health and fitness?
  
  
• How did you improve your financial situation? Did you improve your income level, pay off some debt, change your spending habits, or start a savings plan?
  
  
• Did you take a trip, take up a new sport or other activity, take time to be in nature, take time for fun? How did you take time to re-energize and refresh yourself?
  
  
• Did you develop any new relationships? Did you improve any existing relationships? Did you let go of any relationships that were not working for you? Did you do anything to improve your relationship with yourself, such as meditation, taking quiet time, pampering yourself?
  
  
• How did you deepen your spirituality? In what ways did you make contributions – by volunteering, charitable donations, participating in special projects, sharing your expertise and talents?

This is an opportunity to take stock, appreciate what you have accomplished and give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back. If you find that you list 25 accomplishments and more come to mind, add them to the list.

Your list will become a source for celebration. It can also be a useful tool for looking at and assessing what is working in your life and highlighting areas on which you want to work in the coming year. Did any of the above questions help you realize that there is something to which you are not paying attention? This is not an invitation to beat up on yourself by focusing on what you perceive to be your shortcomings. Rather, it is an opportunity to prioritize and plan at least some of what you want to have on your list of 25 accomplishments for 2005. Write down the most important two or three things on which you will focus in the coming months. Then focus on the steps and activities you need to take and the outcome will look after itself.

As your 2005 unfolds, make sure to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements along the way. Instead of waiting to list your achievements at the end of the year, list them throughout the year – that way you will be less likely to forget them. Most importantly, remember to take time to renew and refresh, and have fun.

Balance is knowing when to use our strengths and when to take time to renew them.

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, January 2005.

Know What & Why …Don't Sweat How

By Janet Christensen

Have you ever had a goal – something that you want to achieve, create, or realize – and you think that before you can even begin to work toward this goal, you must have all the details of how you will make it happen figured out first? You come up with your master plan, only to find out that things happen along the way, which are not according to your plan. When this happens, you:

1. try to stick to your original plan (which will probably no longer be valid because things have changed and your plan has not)
   
   
2. adjust your plan to the new circumstances, again trying to work out all the precise details
   
   
3. give up and abandon the plan and your goal because obviously it was not realistic
   

There is a way to achieve, create, and realize your goals and dreams more effectively, with a greater opportunity for success and less stress. The key is to know what you want and why…and to let go of needing to know all of the how's.

The magic in all of this is that when you are clear about what it is you want and why you want it, the how's appear; you do not need to have it all figured out beforehand! Being clear about what you want your life to be like, who you want to be in the process, and what you want to create and manifest is your what. Your why is the emotional link to what it is you want, made by connecting at a deep level to the way you will feel when what you desire is realized.

For example, let's imagine that you have a goal to take a vacation to a tropical island. The first step is to get very specific about this island destination. Is it Hawaii, Aruba, Barbados, Tahiti or another island? Determine exactly where it is you want to go, when you want to go, and with whom. What kind of vacation will it be? Adventure seeking? Relaxing on a beach? What kind of accommodations will you want – a hotel, condominium, or beach house? Get as specific as you can so that you have a clear image of what it is you want.

When you are clear and specific about your what, the next step is to connect with why you want it. This requires going beyond saying “because it will feel good,” to being able to see what you want as already here and feeling the fire, the energy, the emotion, the passion of experiencing it first hand. See yourself actually there enjoying your vacation, walking along the beach with the palm trees and turquoise water, sipping tropical drinks, feeling the warmth of the sun. Know the way you will feel physically and emotionally when you are there. When you connect with these feelings, you connect your what with your why. You can enhance and support this connection by putting pictures of your dream destination somewhere where you will see them on a regular basis – perhaps on your fridge, on a mirror, by your desk, or in a journal. Write down your what and your why in great detail. Have fun with it.

When you clearly know your what, and you can see, taste, feel, and smell it – your why – it is not necessary to have in place all of the details of how you will make it happen. Trust that you will start a process of making it happen because you intend to make it happen. Your choices will reflect your connection to your goal. You put into motion the energies to attract to you the opportunities to realize your goal. Like a magnet, you draw them toward you. Because you are focused on your what and why, you will find yourself open to possibilities and the how's will appear along the way at the appropriate times. It is magical.

So, go ahead – dare to dream and dare to turn your dreams into reality. Know your what and why; no need to sweat how.

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, November 2004.

Do You Want to be Motivated or Inspired?

By Janet Christensen

You hear how important it is to be motivated. Have you ever wondered why many people set goals and do not reach them, and why so many New Year's resolutions go unfulfilled? The key is what lies behind the goals, the resolutions, and the motivations.

Motivation is about willpower and specific achievement. It is of the mind and logical, and motivation is usually externally driven, either by the expectations of others, by fears or by problems. For example, you may have sales or other types of quotas, or a bonus structure at work intended to motivate you to produce results. You may feel obligated to perform certain tasks or duties because others expect you to do these things. You may be forced into action out of fear – what will happen if you don't act? It may be necessary to work overtime to avoid being fired, or you may go on a diet and exercise regime out of fear for health concerns. You may be motivated by the need to solve a problem, for example, fixing something that is broken, being in debt, or a health issue. Filing your annual tax return is an excellent example of being motivated to do something; it is an expectation placed on you by the government, there is fear about the consequences of not doing it, and there is the problem of the due date hanging over your head. Motivations are usually about external expectations and circumstances, sometimes fears, and are always about achieving results. Motivation can be hard work. It may flow when it is aligned with your passion; however on its own it does not have a lot of positive energy.

Passion comes from deep within and results in positive energy and flow. Passions are more enduring because they are more intuitive and are fueled by an inner drive. When you connect with your passions, you are inspired into action. The root of the word inspiration is from the Latin in spiritus, which means being connected to your spirit, your inner self. Your passions come from your spirit, your soul, and you are inspired to express them. When you are connected to your passions, you experience a powerful flow of energy, which allows you to respond to the circumstances and events of life with creativity and wisdom. This is not a struggle and it is not hard work. You are able to live your life with confidence and ease because you come from your place of passion, your place of inner wisdom and potential.

When you are connected with your passions you are clear in your intentions – about what you want to create and manifest in your life and in how you want to live your life. You make choices and decisions in a conscious way, in alignment with your passions. You have a blueprint for how you live your life and travel your life journey. You have clarity to discern what you want to do from what other people expect of you. You honour yourself and what is most important to you.

When you act from inspiration and passion you inspire others. Your energy, enthusiasm, and creativity will make you a powerful role model. People will be attracted to your energy and passion – wonderful people who are inspired by your presence, by how you are living and by what you are doing.

The truth is that you are either marching passionately to your own drum beat, or you are marching to someone else's drum beat. The choice is yours. You can choose to live your life by default, according to what other people expect and plan for you, or you can choose to live an inspired life with passion, purpose, and personal effectiveness. What will it be?

“The only courage you need is the courage to find and follow your passion.”

Oprah Winfrey

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, October 2004.

Whose Business Are We In?

By Janet Christensen

At some point, each of us encounters situations where you want to jump in and fix something in another person’s life, perhaps a family member, friend, or co-worker. It may be a personal situation, a work problem, a financial situation, a conflict – the opportunities to jump in and “fix it” are vast and diverse. And our desire to help out comes from a very sincere, caring motive – most of the time. Sometimes our motive can be frustration or anger when we see “same stuff, different day,” and when we are tired of hearing the same story or complaint over and over again. Then we just want to wrestle control and show the other person how it could be so much better, and so easily, too!

I have one particular relationship in my life with someone who just doesn’t seem quite able to get their act together, at least in my estimation. Recently, a series of events and choices that we had each made resulted in an issue that I needed to address. This afforded me the opportunity to let this person know what they were doing “wrong,” what they could do to fix it, and a few other things at the same time. To my surprise, this erupted into a huge argument and misunderstanding. Some very hurtful things were said and I was shocked that my well meant attempt to help had resulted in an attack on me. The other person chose “the best defense is offense” reaction.

This person is someone who I love and care about very much and I know she is capable of much more than she gives herself credit for being able to achieve. I had been operating under the assumption that by telling her where she were going wrong and how she could fix it, I was showing her the way to improve her life. During the next few days following our altercation, I had time to think about my part in what had happened. This was a humbling, enlightening, and ultimately, a freeing experience.

When I stood back and looked from the other person’s perspective it became clear that the message I was sending was far different from what I thought it was. The message I thought I was sending was “I believe in you and you can do anything you set your mind to do.” I was really saying “You are not good enough where you are. You need to be fixed, and I don’t think you can do this by yourself.” Quite a difference!

The next time that we spoke, I apologized for trying to “fix” this person and her life – for making the business of her life my business, without being invited to do so. I explained that I had acted out of love and concern; however I realized that my words and actions were hurting and not helping. I was trying to force her to somewhere where she was not ready to go, and perhaps does not want to be.

I made a commitment to be there to love and support her as she is now, and when she decides to move forward. This does not mean that I will condone staying stuck in the “same stuff, different day“ syndrome. Rather, I will ask “What do you plan to do about it and how can I support you in that?” That is very different from jumping in to assess and report what is wrong and prescribe the appropriate action to fix it. Instead, by asking the question, I trust her to find her own answers and solutions and I offer my support to help her do that.

Our new challenge is to figure out the new dynamic to our relationship. As I let go of her business, our roles change; I am no longer the Ms Fixit, and she gets to be CEO of her life. This has been freeing for both of us. She no longer feels the need to meet my expectations of her, and I have more time to spend on the business of my life.

The next time you are tempted to jump in and “fix,” ask yourself “whose business is this?” Unless you are invited to do help out, your well meaning assistance may not be the best help you can give.

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, September 2004.

Seeing Eye To Eye

By Janet Christensen

I am fortunate enough to be writing this article in Cabarete, Dominican Republic. The Dominican Republic is a wonderful country, alive with sights, colours, sounds, music, and a tantalizing blend of people. It is also a third world country where the hydro goes out frequently, and the local residents struggle to have things that we so often take for granted, such as adequate housing, quality medical care, and food on the table.

A feature of the local economy is the street and beach vendors. These vendors are not as intrusive as ones I have encountered on some other islands. However, it is impossible to walk down the street or sit on the beach without being approached by someone selling, among other things, CD’s, watches, shoes, jewelry, timeshares, or asking if you want a taxi or ride on the back of a motorcycle. The best one is the guy we have seen several times with one size twelve running shoe. His niche market is the amputee with one big foot. My surprise was being approached several times to see if I want my hair braided – my hair that is about one inch long at its longest part and spiked out. It is tempting to have it done just to see what they would do!

This is not my first visit to the Dominican Republic, so I knew what to expect. My husband and our friend were here a week ahead of me and they claim that they were not approached until I arrived. What do I have that they don’t, besides the obvious biological differences? They are both nice guys, although they probably exude the frugal windsurfer look here. Both of these guys encounter and successfully deal with people of all ages and types in their work. It became apparent that my invitation to approach me resulted from making eye contact. For the innocent tourist, eye contact sends the signal that you are open to buy, buy, buy!

One of the cornerstones of effective communication is making eye contact. When we make eye contact with someone, we acknowledge his presence and send a signal that we are open to communicate with him. When I am speaking to a large audience, I make a point of making eye contact with people to establish a personal connection. For me, making eye contact with someone also honours his or her value as a person, whether or not we speak. I am one of those people who smiles at strangers as we pass on the street.

In Western society someone who does not make eye contact may be considered to be shy, evasive, shifty or dishonest. Anyone who has tried to talk to a child (or an adult) who refuses to make eye contact knows how frustrating that can be and that it sends the message “I’m ignoring you.” In today’s business world where the importance of networking and making personal connections is emphasized, we are encouraged to stand tall, smile, and make eye contact with people. Our choice to make eye contact, or not make eye contact, sends very important signals, even before we open our mouths to speak.

We are now living in a world where much of our communication occurs by phone, e-mail, or in other ways that do not require face-to-face contact. When we do have that opportunity to connect in person, face-to-face, it becomes more important to acknowledge each other and lay the groundwork for effective communication. Making eye contact facilitates this. In doing so, you value both the other person and yourself. You send the message that you are present and open to communicate and you invite the other person to also be present and communicate.

For my part, I have decided that it is more important for me to make the eye contact with the locals here and appreciate their individuality. And I have learned to say with a friendly smile, “no, gracias.”

Janet Christensen passionately inspires potential as a professional speaker, Passion Map facilitator and writer. She can be reached through her company Unlimiting Potential at (519) 434-5397 or toll free 1-888-779-3061 fax (519) 434-8344 email info@janetchristensen.com Web site www.janetchristensen.com. Published in Networking Today, August 2004.

Living a Legacy or Living a Résumé

By Janet Christensen

As a Passion Map facilitator, I have the opportunity to work with a variety of people. As I guide each person in the art of discovering, accessing, and bringing to life what he or she loves most, I am inspired by each person's brilliance that is revealed through this experience. I consider myself to be most fortunate to do work that I truly love and be inspired every day.

I recently completed a Passion Map with a young man in his mid-twenties and it is with his permission that I write this article. This rather quiet young man has a good education and is searching for his career niche, which was his motivation for doing a Passion Map. What was obvious throughout our sessions together were his strong values and his commitment to creating the life that he wants to live, rather than following the prescribed path. He wants success on his terms, because he is clear on what success means to him. One of his measurements of success is living a legacy, not living a résumé.

What does this mean: living a legacy, not living a résumé?

It means making choices that are in alignment with your values. It means being clear on who you are and what you stand for. It means doing what is important, because it is important to you. It means creating a life that has value for you and that you will be proud to look back upon. It means having the courage to say “no thank you” to things that, while they may look good on a résumé, are not what you want to be doing, or that do not make good use of your abilities and passions.

At a relatively young age, this individual has figured out what Abraham Lincoln was referring to when he said, “You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.”

Many people continue to live their lives making choices based on what they think is expected of them, or because it will look good on a résumé. We get a myriad of helpful information and advice from well meaning people, not all of which is solicited, and rather than having our choices become clearer, we may become confused. Just who knows best and who do we please? And, what is the ideal life résumé supposed to look like? Meanwhile, we may sacrifice what is truly important to us, missing the opportunity to really shine at something and feel great in the process. When it comes down to it, knowing our values and passions, and having the courage to make choices that are in alignment with them, leads us to live our legacy.

I look forward to witnessing how this young man's life unfolds as he chooses to live his legacy and not just a résumé. I am confident that a wonderful caring leader is emerging, who will not only look back with pride and satisfaction on his life, but he will have made a very positive difference in the lives of many others on his journey.

Janet Christensen’s passion is to empower people to live their full potential. Through her company, Unlimiting Potential, she provides personal coaching, experiential workshops, inspirational speaking, and is a Reiki practitioner. To contact Janet, phone: (519) 434-5397 fax: (519) 434-8344 or email info@janetchristensen.com www.janetchristensen.com Published in Networking Today, June 2004

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A Value(able) Lesson

By Janet Christensen

Recently I attended a workshop that had come highly recommended to me by a colleague several months ago. Twice last year I had registered for this particular workshop and it had been canceled. When it was offered again, I figured third time lucky, and registered. The workshop fee was $79.00, reasonable, yet not cheap, and it took place in Toronto from 10am to 4pm on a Sunday. So, added to my costs were gas, parking, and travel time from London to Toronto and back –I left at 7:30 a.m. and got home at 6 p.m.

I am committed to life-long learning and I enjoy expanding my knowledge and horizons. I carefully choose the workshops and courses that I take. This one seemed like at great fit for my business because it was about speaking professionally. Since it had come with a strong recommendation, I attended with the expectation of a full day of learning and information.

The presenter was a professional speaker, who has spoken internationally for many years, and whose credentials and introduction reinforced that we could expect great content and inspiring delivery. At the end of the day, I left feeling disappointed and that my time and money had not been well spent. There were a few good points made, and a lot of nice personal stories and anecdotes, however, not a lot of substance. The speaker was from the U.S. and was not prepared with information about some Canadian issues, or with relevant Canadian content. The workbook (workshop materials were an additional $10.00) looks good and I know it will be of value to me. I concluded that my time and money would have been better spent if I could have bought the workbook and spent my time reading that, which would have taken about two hours maximum.

Since my expertise and business is as a speaker, facilitator, and coach I view these events both as a participant and as a fellow professional. From both perspectives I expect a certain level of professionalism in the presentation and content. I have attended and benefited from many seminars and workshops where my expectations have been more than just met, and I have received excellent value for my time and money. As a member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers, I experience top quality presentations at our meetings and our membership is encouraged and supported in continually improving our professionalism and expertise as speakers.

It is often said that if you leave a seminar, workshop, or speech with just one good idea, it is worth it. On my two hour drive home, I was thinking about this. Is it really about hearing one good idea, or is it about perceived value? I had invested money and time to attend this event. In the end, whether or not I came away with one good idea was not important to me. What was important was whether or not I felt that I had received value for my time and money. I was more irritated by not getting value for my time than about the cost of the day. I can make more money; I cannot recoup my time spent.

I asked myself “what is my lesson from this experience?” That became obvious to me very quickly. When people invest their time and money to hear me speak, facilitate a workshop, or be coached they deserve to receive great value for their investment. This was not a new concept to me. The great value from my day did not come from hearing any one money-making idea that was presented; it came from having this concept reinforced by being on the receiving end. It was a warning not to become complacent. This goes to the core of how I conduct myself, my business, and the reputation that I earn. I want to be known for the excellent value that my clients receive for doing business with me. Focus on this, and success will follow.

No matter what business you are in, whether you are an owner or an employee, if you want long term success and a great reputation, it comes down to this – know what your customer wants and expects and deliver value. Under promise and over deliver and you will never go wrong.

Janet Christensen’s passion is to empower people to live their full potential. Through her company, Unlimiting Potential, she provides personal coaching, experiential workshops, inspirational speaking, and is a Reiki practitioner. To contact Janet, phone: (519) 434-5397 fax: (519) 434-8344 or email info@janetchristensen.com www.janetchristensen.com Published in Networking Today, May 2004.