When in Doubt, Communicate!

By Mike Chatelain

You may remember being told as a child, "Keep quiet!" "Children should be seen, not heard," and "You talk too much." You were a "good" kid if you kept quiet. However, being quiet when you are little causes big problems later in life.

As an adult, you may have been punished for communicating. For example, if you admit you committed a crime and are sorry about it, no one cares. You still go to jail. If you honestly tell your spouse you are thinking about an affair, your marriage suffers if your spouse is not very understanding. If you tell someone you feel a little crazy, who knows what might happen. So you learn to keep your mouth shut.

However, businesses fail when managers do not talk to employees or employees do not talk to customers. Everyone mistakenly believes telepathy is working. "I thought you knew I was unhappy with your performance." "You should have known I was overworked."

Marriages are ruined by poor communication. Rather than openly discuss sex, money, body problems, or whatever, couples hint about their concerns or simply say nothing. But without support and understanding from your primary teammate, you do not go as far. In fact, a bad marriage can ruin everything in your life. Both parties in a successful marriage are able to give and receive communication from his or her spouse on any subject.

Life is miserable if you have no one to openly communicate with. Friendships are based on communication. The lack of friends or a spouse to communicate with often leads to mental problems.

So the first communication skill you need is to get out there and talk.

Unfortunately, on some topics, you’ve learned to watch what you say, to keep it under your hat, to zip it up.

"So that is the basic lesson that anybody learns in this universe. They learn to keep their mouth shut, and it’s the wrong lesson. When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate."
— L. Ron Hubbard

Whenever you have doubts about something, COMMUNICATE! Talk, talk, talk until the problem resolves. When you feel stress, disagreement, or resistance between you and someone near you, the wrong thing to do is ignore the problem. Instead, start communicating.

When you know you should say something, say it! For example, an employee knows another employee is embezzling money and so says something to the employee and/or boss. A doctor knows he must talk to a patient about the patient’s rude behavior to the office staff. An employer knows she must discuss poor performance issues with some employees.

Take the bull by the horns. Move ahead in life. Spit it out.

If you’re worried about the consequences of saying something, you can ask first. Examples:

"Lisa, I want to say something about your driving to help keep you out of accidents, but I don’t want to upset you. Can I tell you what I think or should I keep my mouth shut?"

"Boss, should I tell you if I think you are giving me bad advice?”

"Mike, our marriage means so much to me I don’t want to say anything that would jeopardize it. But I have done something wrong and I’m sorry I did it. I think it would be good for our relationship if I told you. Don’t you think it’s best if we are 100% honest with each other?"

"Can you listen to something unfortunate I have to say and remain calm? Are you ready?"

In the long run, you are always better off by communicating. Take responsibility and talk. Staying silent solves nothing.

Mike Chatelain is the director of Tips for Success. Phone: (209) 755-2702. Email: director@tipsforsuccess.org www.TipsForSuccess.org Copyright © 2002 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Programmed in the United States.

Published in Networking Today, June 2003.

The Power of Passion

By Mike Chatelain

Improving this single attitude makes your days fly by. You wake up excited to work. You make the right decisions. You get more done in less time.

Improving this attitude affects everyone around you. They believe in you, trust you, and want to support you.

This one attitude can change your entire life for the better.

A vital attitude for you to constantly improve is YOUR PASSION.

On a scale of 1 to 10, exactly how excited are you right now? Do you really want to succeed? Are you thrilled with your goals for today? If not, you must generate some passion for your day, your week, and your career.

Leadership

To succeed you must be a leader, if only a leader of one person: you.

"In all great leaders there is a purpose and intensity which is unmistakable." — L. Ron Hubbard

Remember how former President Reagan had UNMISTAKABLE seniority when he met with Communist leaders? Have you noticed how the best speeches of politicians, ministers, or actors always include high-volume intensity? The same applies to the most successful people.

Passion is a self-generated tool. You have the ability to motivate yourself, to concentrate on your purpose, to get yourself excited about what you do.

Your attitude sets the mood for everyone around you. They get excited if you are excited. If you are fascinated, so are they. Recommendations you give to others that come from the heart have a greater impact.

You can never be too passionate

Everyone can increase his or her purpose and intensity.

When you organize all of your activities toward one focused goal, you not only feel more joy in what you are doing, you get more accomplished.

Sometimes it helps to find things that make you passionate. For example, for which of these objectives can you generate the most passion and intensity? ·

• Reaching a specific goal
• Accomplishing a certain level of perfection
• Making a great deal of money
• Going back to an original purpose
• Beating a challenge
• Filling your life with as much happiness as possible
• Fulfilling a duty to yourself or your family
• Helping a great number of people
• Creating a superior reputation
• Building a highly-successful business
• Helping others achieve success
• Becoming the best at what you do
• Hitting a specific statistical target
• Earning enough money to buy something you really need or want
• Making a positive impact on society T

There is nothing stronger than a leader with a firm direction and passion to get there.

Mike Chatelain is the director of Tips for Success. Phone: (209) 754-4113 Email: director@tipsforsuccess.org www.TipsForSuccess.org Copyright © 2002 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Programmed in the United States.

Published in Networking Today, January 2003.

Being Too Serious Can Drive You Crazy

By Mike Chatelain

Are you having fun? Do you get a thrill from your work? Do you enjoy waking up each morning?

Certain myths about work can pull you down. "Work is not supposed to be fun." "You must buckle down and get serious." Perhaps the biggest myth of all: "People will think I’m important if I act seriously." Yet getting serious creates problems: stress, worry, anxiety, emotional pain, drudgery, and failure.

Resolving problems by getting more serious is like fixing a computer with a hammer. The harder you try, the worse the problem becomes.

"When life becomes serious, a man becomes less cause and greater effect. If life gets really serious, his value drops to practically zero. Driving a car can become such serious business that one can wreck the car. Running a business can become so serious as to make it fail. There is a direct connection between insanity and seriousness. It is only when an individual progresses in life to a point where much seriousness is attached to things that he begins to have a hard time. The ancient Italian really knew what he was about when he considered that the only psychotherapy was laughter." – L. Ron Hubbard

12 Ways to Lighten Up

Approaching your life with a non-serious attitude gives you a clearheaded view of problems and the energy to deal with them. Problems are easier to solve, people are more cooperative, and you feel more relaxed. You probably live longer as well.

Think of your life as a game. Give yourself permission to play the game, to have fun with the game, and to win.

Try these techniques until you find one that lightens you up.

1. Deliberately turn a molehill into a mountain. Make a big deal out of a little problem. "I would feel much better if these papers were stacked exactly like this! Not like that! Like this! Not this! This!"
   
   
2. Ask yourself, "Is getting serious about this situation really going to improve it?"
   
   
3. Focus on the positives. Repeat these questions until you feel lighter: "What is right about this picture?" "What else is right?" "What else?"
   
   
4. Consider a complete, major change. Why not become an airline pilot? Why not move to Idaho? Why not retire for a few years and then begin a new career?
   
   
5. Ask yourself, "When I’m on my deathbed, will I be glad I was so serious about _______?"
   
   
6. A challenging game is much better than no game at all. So consider losing all aspects of the problem. Examples: You feel serious about family problems. You ask yourself, "Well, what if I had no family at all?" You feel serious about your investments. You ask yourself, "What if I had no money to invest?"
   
   
7. The size of your problem may match the size of your game. So get a bigger game. For example, if you get uptight about paper clips being in the wrong drawer, your game size is tiny. Double your amount of responsibility. Set some huge goals. Think much, much bigger.
   
   
8. Stop trying to solve the problem that is making you so serious. Certain types of problems solve themselves if you leave them alone. Your problem may be one of those.
   
   
9. Compare what you are doing to other careers. Imagine being a septic tank drainer or an IRS agent.
   
   
10. Make everyone around you lighten up. You will soon feel more cheerful.
    
    
11. Look at bizarre solutions. What is the craziest way you could solve your problem? What solution, if it worked, would make you laugh out loud?
    
    
12. Act stupid for a minute. Let down your hair. Stop being so darn important for a while. Be a goof!
    

Mike Chatelain is the director of Tips for Success. Phone: (209) 754-4113 Email: director@tipsforsuccess.org www.TipsForSuccess.org Copyright © 2002 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard. Programmed in the United States.

Published in Networking Today, December 2002.

Tips for Success: How to Boost Your Personal Power

By Mike Chatelain

Why do you produce twice as much just before a vacation? You make a list of tasks and get them done in record time.

Why do some people seem so lucky? Everything they do seems to magically turn out well.

What makes you perform at your peak? When are you at your best?

Here’s a power tip you won’t learn from any of the motivational “experts.”

"Happiness is power and power is being able to do what one is doing when one is doing it." — L. Ron Hubbard

When you drive a car while thinking about other things, your reaction time is slower. You are less alert. You fail to see potential problems. According to police, inattention is the primary cause of auto accidents.

Daydreams and distractions ruin your job performance. You go on automatic and make mistakes. Because you are not giving your best, you produce less.

The ability to devote 100% of your attention to a task is difficult at first. Yet when you start to live your life in the immediate present, in this exact moment of time, with little or no attention on the past or future, you feel more alive.

Concentrate on the period at the end of this sentence and nothing else.

Can you do it for five seconds? Fifteen? Can you do it with absolutely no other thoughts? Imagine being able to focus all of your attention on everything you do as you do it. This is power!

Staying in present time unleashes extra amounts of natural ability. For example, just before you leave on a vacation, you zero in on specific accomplishments and quickly get them done. When you only daydream about a vacation, you slow down and become less effective.

You handle conversations much better if you stay in the present. People feel you truly understand them when you are doing nothing but listening with no other thought. When you are fully in the present, you think better, react faster, and make better decisions. The stronger your focus, the greater your power.

Five Exercises

Practice doing what you are doing when you are doing it in all your activities.

1. Do a simple task at your desk such as clear off some paper. Do this right now. Do absolutely nothing else when doing it. Practice this until your attention is more in the present than ever before.
   
   
2. Give the next person you talk to 100% of your attention. Really focus on what they have to say. Think of nothing outside of the conversation. Notice the person’s reaction.
   
   
3. The next time you drive your car, do what you are doing when you are doing it. Don’t listen to the radio, talk on your cell phone, eat a snack, think about work, or do anything besides drive. Extend your focus all around your car. Notice the difference.
   
   
4. Next time you kiss or hug someone, think of nothing else besides giving the kiss or hug. Really do what you are doing and give the person 100% affection. Try this with your spouse or family member to see a great reaction.
   
   
5. At your job, spend a complete hour doing absolutely nothing but work. Do exactly what you are doing when you are doing it. Ignore other thoughts, other acts, and other tasks. Take no breaks. Do nothing but work. Zero in on the job at hand and see how much you can accomplish.
   

Whenever you want to feel happier or more powerful, do what you are doing when you are doing it. Your time at work will be more productive. Your love life will be more satisfying. Your driving will be safer. And if you concentrate on doing nothing but having fun during your free time, you will have the time of your life!

Mike Chatelain is the director of Tips for Success. Phone: (209) 754-4113 Email: director@tipsforsuccess.org www.TipsForSuccess.org

Published in Networking Today, November 2002.