Resiliency Part II: Ten Ways To Build Resiliency

By Karen Susman

See Part I: Resiliency: Seven Traits of People Who Bounce Back from Stress

1. Make connections: Don't be isolated. It's easy in our busy world to get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, rinse, and repeat. Even houses are designed with the garage in front so you can punch the garage door opener and slide into seclusion without ever greeting a neighbor. To build resilience, build a network of support. No matter how long it's been since you've contacted friends, it's okay to give them a call. Sit on your stoop, if you have one, and greet your neighbors. Walk your neighborhood and say, "Hi." Get a dog. Believe me, there is no greater social lubricant than a furry canine on the end of a leash.
   
   

2. Reframe crisis and challenge as surmountable. Instead of catastrophysing, get into a problem solving, action mode. Reflect on your past abilities to surmount challenges. Use those same skills again.
   
   

3. Accept that change is the only thing you can count on. Rigidity will break you like a tree in a hurricane. Expect change. Learn to live with ambiguity. As Garrison Keillor said, "Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
   
   

4. Move toward your goals even if you just take tiny steps. Curves, my favorite exercise emporium, is encouraging members to get a pedometer and walk 10,000 steps a day. Prizes are involved. Drat! That pedometer starts at zero. The only way I can get to the 10, 000 steps is by putting one foot in front of the other. Every day, I start at zero and step, step, step.
   
   

5. Take action. Make decisions. Not deciding sends us into a state of anxiety-filled paralysis. Decide something. If you've made the wrong decision, you'll find out soon enough and you can fix it. Many decisions are not right or wrong. They just lead to different consequences.
   
   

6. Keep learning and discovering things about the world and yourself. Curiosity and learning are life affirming. They also give you a sense of control over your life. Surprises are reduced by awareness and knowledge.
   
   

7. Develop confidence in your ability to handle things. I always figure if I can deliver two children, I can handle anything.
   
   

8. Step back and check your perspective. Each person has his own reality. It's possible that if you step back and examine your reality, you might get a fresh perspective that can help you manage challenges. Many times we don't realize that we have choices, and not just one or two.
   
   

9. Remain hopeful. Give yourself a pep talk. Hang out with positive people.
   
   

10. Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Take at least as good care of yourself as you do of your car.

Resiliency can be learned. But, knowledge is not practice and practice is not knowledge. Practice resiliency until you believe you are resilient.

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Karen Susman is a Speaker, Trainer, Coach, and Author of 102 Top Dog Networking Secrets. Karen works with organizations that want to maximize performance. Programs include Humour at Work; Balance In Life; Networking Skills; Presentation Skills; and Building Community Involvement. Order new guidebooks on humour, networking, time management, and community involvement by calling 1-888-678-8818 or e-mail Karen@KarenSusman.com.. www.KarenSusman.com.

Published in Networking Today, December, 2006